When my baby died last November, I wanted to buy a doll.
The first night I found out that Jane had brain damage, when we were staying at the hospital, I started thinking about how I wouldn’t get to hold her for more than a couple of days, or even less, and I thought, Maybe I’ll buy a doll to hold instead.
The second day after Jane died, I went to the toy store and looked for one, but most of them were too hard or too small and they did things like crying and talking and I didn’t like that.
Besides, none of them looked like her.
Several months later, I went to a grief group. One woman shared about her experience of losing her son, Michael, saying that there is no wrong way to grieve.
“Anything short of hurting yourself or others is fair game,” she said. “Do whatever it takes.”
A few days later, I bought a doll.
It is good to grieve, I’ve realized. Being sad is one of the most important things in life, after all.
It has taught me a lot.
More Stuff to Read:
- Three Kids, No Car: One Year of Living Authentically, Even Though I Can Afford Not To
- My Byron Katie Detox: One Year of Questioning Everything I Believe
- Spiritual Practice Success Stories
- Disastrous Inventions: Stories About Motherhood, Marriage, Weight Loss, Self-Improvement and Other Disastrous Inventions
- The Ordinary Mystic: Stories About My Noble But Failed Attempts to Be Spiritual
- Suddenly Awesome: Life Hacks for Making Your Otherwise Ordinary Life Suddenly Awesome
- Books I Want My Kids to Read Someday