The other day, while I was talking to a good friend of mine on the phone, she said that she was upset about something. It had been several days since she called her friend, she said, and she hadn’t called her back yet.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “Maybe she’s just too busy.”
“She always does this to me,” my friend told me.
And so I gave her this little piece of advice:
“Get new friends,” I said.
It wasn’t great advice. It was not insightful or earth-shattering.
How rarely we do this.
Like lovers, we think that friends should “just come.” They should “be led” to us, much like–well, much like nothing.
What else besides friends and lovers do we feel this way about?
When you got your job, did you just let it “come” to you? Or did you shop around? What about your favorite jeans? Were they just suddenly handed to you by fate, or did you have to weed through some piles of crap to find them?
So: my advice of the day: Shop for new friends. Meet a lot of new people and try a lot of new things. Then, when your current friends disappoint you, it won’t come as such a blow.
“It’s their loss,” you will think. And you will mean it.
And you will be able to move on.