Guest contributor: Maria, a member of the online law of attraction forum www.powerlawofattraction.com.
Towards the end of November 2011, my mom, older brother and I were in a serious car accident. We were all critically injured and for quite a while the doctors were battling to save our lives. They performed major surgeries on all three of us. Both my mom and I were kept in a comatose state artificially in order to keep us stable. From what I have been told, my brother suffered major blood loss which was affecting his internal organs and on January 24, 2012, he passed away. My mom had been awake briefly but slipped back into a coma upon being told of my brother’s death. Without coming back out of her coma, she died on February 7, 2012.
I am the sole survivor from that accident and since my mom’s death my dad has only left my side when being directly ordered to do so by his own dad. I know he is doing all he can to be strong for me right now as I am far from being well yet, and I can’t imagine the pain he is feeling. He confided to me shortly after the accident that he was in severe emotional pain, he couldn’t bear the thought of losing me as well, and that he was willing to do anything in his power to save me. He kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand and I smiled back and told him I know and that I love him.
Physically, my state following the accident was this: Though my ribs, lungs and heart all healed well when I was in a coma, I still had blurry vision from the swelling of my brain after the head injuries and surgeries, and no ability to walk. However, even at that time I knew that as long as I kept believing that I would walk again, envisioning myself walking, etc., it would happen. At the start of this journey I told my dad that I have decided to be walking again within six months, and he smiled and said “Of course you will, my child.”
Well, as it turned out, I was right–and so was he.
For the past few months, I have been working really hard, and I am happy to report that I am now walking again. I am not completely without support yet, but I am on my feet and moving at a near-“normal” rate of speed with canes. It’s such hard work and painful at times, but I am stubborn and will keep fighting until I, hopefully, walk without canes. Doctors say I’ll most likely be needing at least one for the rest of life because my right knee doesn’t bend completely and so doesn’t provide enough support for caneless walking. I don’t mind, though; I am alive, I am up and I am walking, which means I am still (somewhat) independent of others’ help for everyday things.
It was such a relief the day I could finally get out of bed again on my own. Before the accident I never thought of such matters; they appeared so small that they didn’t even exist in my thought processes. But now? Wow. What a feeling to be able to get out of bed on my own, get dressed on my own, eat on my own, etc, etc.
I am learning to cope with the loss of my mama and brother; I am going through the grieving process. So far I’ve denied that they were dead by simply telling myself they were just “out of town”, I’ve been angry with them for dying and leaving us behind, I’ve even been angry with God for taking them asking him why, and I’ve cried millions of tears of sadness. I think of them everyday; everyday there are little things that remind me of them but I am beginning to replace tears with smiles when I think of them, and I know they are in a good place and I believe I will see them again in another life. I tell myself that they were done here with whatever task they were sent here to do, and that comforts me.
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