Contributor: The “law of attraction science guy” Greg Kuhn, author of Why Quantum Physicists Do Not Fail, Why Quantum Physicists Don’t Get Fat and more. This story is excerpted from Do Not Fail, an awesome and potentially life-changing read.
Here’s an example of how changing my paradigms and my stories about eating worked for me. I used to talk and obsess about what foods were bad for me. I counted calories, carbohydrates, and fat grams. Then I would deprive myself of all the good-tasting food that I craved because it was bad for me to eat. Bear in mind that I was the sole source of, and bore full responsibility for, my stories of what foods were good and what foods were bad. Certainly, I based my stories on diet and nutrition literature, but it was I who made the choice to adopt and believe those stories.
Now you might say, “But that literature was written by licensed, credentialed experts who knew their stuff about food and health. Doesn’t that mean you should have listened to them and believed them?” And I will counter by reminding you that our universe does not work on action but on energy. So the real question is not whether I should have believed the stories of the experts but whether I felt good about the stories I was telling myself based on that literature. And my answer to that question was a resounding “no.” The stories I told myself after listening to the food experts did not feel good.
So, under these circumstances, I was faced with two choices: Either I stopped eating any foods about which I couldn’t tell any good-feeling stories or I learned to tell better feeling stories about foods I wished to continue eating. Since I believed the experts were correct about fresh vegetables and fruit being good for my body and fat and excess calories being bad for my body, I chose to begin telling myself better feeling stories about fresh vegetables and fruit.
By this point, I was eating fresh fruit in the morning instead of doughnuts or pancakes (some of my old favorites), but I just didn’t naturally feel good about eating fresh fruit. It did not feel realistic to tell myself a story like “I love eating fresh fruits and I never want to go back to eating doughnuts and pancakes in the morning. I am so glad I have found this wonderful new way to eat in the morning.” But I was able to tell myself a story like “Just for today, I am willing to eat fresh fruit this morning. I give myself permission to decide again tomorrow whether I want to continue, but I can do this for one day.” I told myself that story each morning for weeks and I did begin to slowly feel better about eating fresh fruit.
But I didn’t stop there. After a week or so, I began to add to my story: “And I can also believe that it’s possible for me to start enjoying the consumption of fresh fruit just as much as I enjoy the consumption of doughnuts and pancakes. I don’t enjoy fruit as much right now, but I’m willing to believe that I can eventually.”
At that point, that better-feeling story felt realistic, and I soon felt even better about eating all that fresh fruit.
As my good feelings about eating fresh fruit grew, it started to feel realistic to add still more good-feeling stories, such as “I am pretty confident that I can find fruits that I enjoy during each season and, perhaps, even come to anticipate the arrival of them as their season approaches.” That story felt great, and by this time, after months of eating fresh fruit, it felt completely believable. And, for the first time in my life, I was actually excited about eating fresh fruit.
As my feelings improved and I was no longer spending anywhere near the energy telling myself bad-feeling stories about missing the old foods, I started to experience different results with my body. My beliefs and, thus, my expectations, were changing, and the universe was responding in small but noticeable ways. For example, I noticed I had more physical energy since starting to eat fresh fruit in the morning. In addition, I began to see that some of my unwanted weight was leaving. I also felt proud of myself for nourishing my body so lovingly.
Momentum was building.
Within six months, I was telling myself stories like “I love eating fresh fruits and I never want to go back to eating doughnuts and pancakes in the morning. I am so glad I have found this wonderful new way to eat in the mornings.” And I knew these stories were true to the ore of my soul. They had become my reality; I had successfully changed my beliefs. And I had done it one story at a time–not trying to jump up to the best feeling stories at first, but working my way up by telling myself the best feeling stories that felt believable to me every step of the way.
I did the same thing with fresh vegetables, organic foods, healthier options when eating out, and eating less fat, salt, and grease. I now honestly do not even like to eat anything but fresh fruit in the mornings. I love fresh vegetables (steamed and without any butter on them) and I do not like fast food anymore at all. These good feelings about such healthy fare reflect my new beliefs. They serve me and uplift me and they feel fantastic. I almost never feel deprived anymore, nor do I have to force myelf to stick to any certain diet, because I have learned to feel great about what I eat. I am even able to eat ice cream and doughnuts today without experiencing unwanted weight gain. I have learned how to eat those foods in moderation and feel good about doing it.
And, over time, I’ve created new beliefs about exercising just the same way I did about eating–one story at a time. You know how I can tell? Because, unlike my previous experiences as a younger man, I now get excited when I think about exercising. Because exercising is fun and it is wonderful to have the opportunity to move my body and be healthier. Those are my beliefs now.
My beliefs have allowed me to take off all my unwanted weight. Gone. And I have kept it off, with ease, for about 15 years now.
After Rachel and Matthew had their first child, they had a couple of fights. Well, okay, more than a couple—they fought for over three years. They fought about schedules. They fought about bad habits. They even fought about the lawn mower. And besides actually having their child, it was the best thing that could've happened. Get Fights You’ll Have After Having a Baby: A Self-Help Story on Amazon now.