Here are a few of the highlights of my day:
- I dropped my second debit card into an unreachable place in my car, then misplaced a third.
- My one-year-old spilled a plate of marinara-soaked asparagus onto my lap and the floor. Then I ate it off the floor.
- I walked past three soggy diapers on my kitchen floor numerous times without picking them up.
- For over an hour, my three-year-old repeated the word “booby” and tugged at my shirt as I lay in the fetal position on the floor.
- Both my kids pooped in a park where there was no bathroom. My three-year-old then refused to be changed in the grass or to go with me to the car to get the baby’s diaper. When he finally followed me to the car, I put them both in with poopy diapers. On the way home the baby fell asleep. In poop.
- I fell asleep during sex.
But I still took my jog, so I’d call the day a success.
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