Self-Help Memoir Miniature: Even Atheists Are Kind (Alone and Together, Part Twenty-One)

David is an agnostic who is practically an atheist. Before I met him, I didn’t know atheists could be so kind.

I didn’t think he was at first, actually. I thought he was shallow. But that was just the first date, because he talked about clothes and seemed a little too happy. Too optimistic.

To me, that seemed pretty suspicious.

Also, when we were talking on the phone before we met in person, he said, “I think friendships are the most important thing in life. Don’t you?”

I said I didn’t know.

On our second date, though, we went sailing and to a seafood restaurant and we talked a lot more. I could see that he was intelligent and we always had more things to say and it was never boring. He wore sailing clothes and he didn’t look as stylish as before and I could see that he was a little shyer than I realized and I liked that a lot.

After we were done eating, we got onto the subject of the differences between men and women.

It was an eye-opening conversation.

“I don’t think gender roles are a bad thing,” he said, and, looking back, I think that is really the moment I fell in love.

Of course, I didn’t say that. I said, “I agree.” And then we talked some more about that and later I said, “I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who was as traditional as you are that is not religious.”

And, I thought, as honest.

After that, we talked about all of the places we’d traveled to and all of the other places we wanted to travel and later, when we were driving in his car together, he drove very fast but I didn’t care and I thought, “He can drive any way he wants because I trust him completely and he is perfect.”

By the time that date was over, I think we were both in love.


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