My Relationship Journal: August
Lesson: Be Uncomfortably Nice
Book Notes and Quotes:
For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed, Tara Parker-Pope:
- “Scientists have even applied mathematical models to marriage, calculating, for instance, that strong marriages have at least a five-to-one daily ratio of positive to negative interactions. Simply translated, that means it’s not enough to apologize for mistreating your spouse. For every mistake you make, you need to offer five more good moments, kind words, and loving gestures to keep your marriage in balance.”
My Relationship Resolutions:
- I will remember that my partner’s best motivation to help me with the kids and treat me well is my being kind, grateful and pleasant. Love begets love.
- I will compliment Matthew more often.
- I will say thank you more often, particularly when I want Matthew to change a habit. (“Thanks for taking your shoes off at the door, Hon!”)
- I will say “I love you” more often, and in a greater variety of ways.
- I will be consistently cheerful and respectful—even when Matthew is not.
- I will choose my words very, very carefully.
- I will use a kind tone of voice. Always.
For the Fridge:
- “I promise to use a kind, respectful tone of voice, even when upset.”
Read the rest of the series at Fights You’ll Have After Having a Baby: A Self-Help Novel.