At a playdate the other week, one of my sons hit another kid. The playdate wasn’t with just one other family; a whole big group of us was there.
Sometimes, when something like this happens, I have a moment of, “Okay. How do I handle this situation calmly but effectively, in a way that makes me look like a good mom?” I didn’t know the others well, so this response may have been even more likely–normally.
That day, though, wasn’t a normal day. That day I was “in the zone.”
In You’re Getting Closer, I discuss this phenomenon–this state of continuous meditation, during which everything you do feels inspired. That morning, I decided this would be one of those days; I’d listen for guidance on what to do–even the little stuff.
And so, when I saw what happened, I knew without hesitation what to do. I talked to my son, and gave him the choice to either apologize or to leave the playdate.
Then, we left the playdate.
It’s so, so nice to have that feeling of clarity, of knowing exactly what to do and how. I don’t have it nearly often enough.
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Well played, Mollie– starting with the first note, meditation . . . .
Ah, wish I could stay there. But I still have too many of my own plans.
Last night, I wouldn’t let my 9-year old son stay the night at his best friend’s house. It was a school night, but there was the possibility of a snow day today. Of course, it IS a snow day today, so I am doubly “in the dog house.” While my son was crying last night & telling me how much he hated me, my clarity was that it was absolutely ok for him to be so mad & sad. He could hate me, and I could be ok. So, I had an apology this morning because he was sorry for his words. I worked it out so he could play in the snow with his best friend today & we are going to be fine. We’ll see if there is another possibility of a snow day tomorrow & whether or not my son will ask for another sleep over tonight! That bridge will be crossed at that time & I will pray again for the same kind of clarity I experienced last night. Love. Love. Love.
That is awesome. Motherhood gives us so many opportunities to grow. Don’t know what I would do without it. Also, just FYI, when I got older I remembered some of the times I was mean to my mom and I felt such regret and sadness. Your kids see and remember your gracious responses.