Anger is natural. It’s a normal part of life. But we don’t want to experience it for longer than necessary. Fortunately, our emotions aren’t entirely out of our control; by examining our negative beliefs, our accompanying negative feelings become less persistent and less convincing. There are many methods for doing so, but the one with the most evidence behind it is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
In The Feeling Good Handbook, one of the most-read books on the subject, David Burns details the process. I highly recommend this and other CBT books, or working with a therapist who uses the method regularly. (There are also CBT worksheets and instructions online.)
In spite of the prodigious amount of literature devoted to the subject, CBT is a simple, intuitive process. Working either with a therapist, or alone with a journal, you identify your most anxious, fearful or hateful thoughts. Then you examine it objectively, asking yourself if the thought is entirely true, or if it’s untrue or just partly true–an exaggeration. By the time you’re done, you’ve found at least a few more positive thoughts to counteract the negative ones, and as a result, your depression or anxiety is lessened. In a perfect world, every child would be taught the technique in school, and every adult would practice it regularly.
As one of the early, and most thorough and textbook-like books on cognitive therapy, The Feeling Good Handbook has become a legit self-help classic. However, other books on cognitive therapy use the same basic principles and might be more concise. I recommend reading at least a few on this subject and using cognitive therapy weekly at least throughout your life.
- The way to change how you feel is to change how you think.
- “If you say, ‘I just can’t help the way I feel,’ you will only make yourself a victim of your misery–and you’ll be fooling yourself, because you can change the way you feel.”
- “I don’t believe you should try to be happy all the time, or in total control of your feelings. That would just be a perfectionistic trap. You cannot always be completely rational and objective.”
- Beware of the ten most common forms of twisted thinking, namely: all-or-nothing thinking; overgeneralization; using a mental filter; discounting the positive; jumping to conclusions; magnification; emotional reasoning; ‘should’ statements; labeling/name calling; personalization; and blame.
- The author suggests ten ways to question your negative thoughts: examining the evidence (like a judge would); using the experimental technique or the survey method (like a scientist would); thinking in shades of gray or using the semantic method (like a philosopher would); using the cost-benefit analysis method (like an economist would) and more.
About the Author
David D. Burns is a psychiatrist and author known for his work in the field of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and self-help literature. He gained prominence through his best-selling book “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy,” which was first published in 1980.
“Feeling Good” is a self-help book that focuses on CBT techniques to help readers understand and manage their emotions, alleviate depression, and improve their overall mental well-being. The book presents practical strategies and exercises to challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier ways of thinking.
In addition to “Feeling Good,” David Burns has written several other books on related topics, such as anxiety, relationships, and communication. Some of his other notable works include:
- “The Feeling Good Handbook”
- “When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life”
- “Intimate Connections: The Clinically Proven Method for Making Close Friends and Finding a Loving Partner”
- “The Ten Days to Self-Esteem”
David Burns is known for his engaging writing style and his ability to translate complex psychological concepts into practical advice that readers can apply to their lives. He has also been involved in teaching and training mental health professionals in the techniques of cognitive-behavioral therapy.
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