Sometimes, you need some fatherly advice about money–from someone else’s father, of course. Robert Kiyosaki’s book Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! combines good old-fashioned common sense with professional insights on financial success that apply to a wide range of investors (even–especially–the newbies).
Read this book to fill in your knowledge gaps regarding money and to get inspired to start an investment strategy today.
Key Takeaways
The definition of the word “rich” is “able to live off the interest from one’s investments.” This is your goal.
Look where no one else is looking for business opportunities. Don’t follow the crowd; buy when stocks crash rather than selling, as others do.
Know the difference between an asset and a liability. An asset puts money into your income column and a liability takes it out. Everything else, including personal property that can’t be easily sold, is neutral. Many people see their home as an asset, but it is not an asset if you aren’t gaining income on it.
Pay yourself first, even before paying your bills. Put money into your investments first! You’ll be forced to use your creativity to get the rest taken care of, too.
Don’t fear risk. This is what keeps many people from investing in anything high yield and going with mutual funds and others safe investments instead.
Money is not real. It’s all just a game. Have fun with it!
If you don’t enjoy a certain type of investing, do something else. You’re unlikely to be successful at something you dislike.
Hire people who are smarter than you.
Most rich people lose it all at some point but they usually make it back–and then some–because they know what they’re doing.
Create a corporation and wrap it around your largest assets.
Educate yourself about money. Read advice books and follow it.
About the Author
Robert Kiyosaki is an American author, entrepreneur, and investor. He is best known for his book Rich Dad Poor Dad, which has become a personal finance classic and has been translated into 51 languages. In the book, Kiyosaki shares lessons he learned about money and investing from his “rich dad,” and contrasts them with the financial advice he received from his own father. He has written several other books on personal finance, including Cashflow Quadrant and Retire Young Retire Rich. Kiyosaki is also the founder of the Rich Dad Company, which provides financial education and training.
Meditation isn’t just for the woo-woo crowd. Written by agnostic journalist Dan Harris, Ten Percent Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works—A True Story is a well-written memoir about an everyday workaholic who takes up meditation.
Read it to convince your skeptical self to try this evidence-based strategy for improving mental health.
Key Takeaways
Studies have shown the transformative effects of meditation, including evidence for the existence of enlightenment.
The purpose of meditation is not to feel something, but to simply try and build your meditation muscle, similar to practicing a sport or a musical instrument.
Meditation can help you improve your work relationships, as evidenced by the author’s own transformation from being a difficult colleague to being seen as “easy”.
To meditate, first choose a focal point for your breath, such as your mouth, chest, or belly. Whenever your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath. You can silently repeat “in-out” to help you focus.
After grounding yourself in your breath, practice “noting”–noticing and labeling thoughts or dominant feelings without judgment. This is called “choiceless awareness” and can lead to a real breakthrough in meditation.
Don’t worry too much about how you feel while meditating. The goal is to redirect your attention back to your breath whenever it wanders. That’s the whole game.
During a long meditation, it’s normal to experience both bliss and misery within the same hour. As you advance in your practice, the ups and downs will become less pronounced.
If focusing on your breath doesn’t work for you, try a body scan meditation, a compassion meditation, or a choiceless awareness meditation instead.
About the Author
Dan Harris is an American journalist and author, best known for his book 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works—A True Story. The book was published in 2014 and describes Harris’ journey from skepticism towards self-help and spirituality to a more balanced and mindful life. In it, he explains how he found inner peace through meditation, and how this practice helped him to be more productive, less stressed, and happier in his personal and professional life. The book was a New York Times bestseller and has been praised for its accessibility and practical approach to mindfulness and meditation. Harris is also a co-anchor of ABC News’ “Nightline” and the co-founder of the 10% Happier movement and app.
We know that homo sapiens and earlier hominids evolved in the great continent of Africa. However, after the species spread to other areas of the globe, the history of the place of our origins becomes less distinct. Partly, this is due to a lack of cultural appreciation (or even avoidance of the topic), and partly, it is due to a lack of written records. In medieval Africa, though, the continent was home to as many as 10,000 different nations, tribes and kingdoms, each with their own distinct languages, customs and governmental structures. With advances in seagoing technology, trade with the Middle East and India grew rapidly. Interestingly, though civil wars were frequent, tribal success was based more on trade than on conquest during this time.
The Portugese began their colonization of Africa in the 1500s, and was quickly followed by several other Western powers (particularly Britain, France, Spain and the Netherlands) until, by the early 1900s, most of Africa had been claimed. Colonizers focused most of their efforts on resource extraction, including the extraction of natives for slavery, rather than settlement. Areas that were settled by a significant number of Westerners included Algeria (by the French), South Africa (by several nations), Kenya (by the British) and more. Settlers suffered from African diseases such as yellow fever, sleeping sickness, yaws, leprosy and malaria.
ESSENTIAL KNOWLEDGE: HISTORY OF AFRICA
Ancient Times (3000 BCE to 500 CE)
Ancient Egypt: The first civilization in Africa, which is considered one of the greatest civilizations in history. It included multiple cities, all hugging the Nile River. It is known for its advanced medicine, astronomy and engineering; its unique polytheistic religion; its pyramids; its hieroglyphics; its papyrus paper; its use of cattle for transportation; its wheat and barley crops, which were used for beer and bread making; and its flax crops, which were used for linen and more. Egypt was briefly conquered by both Alexander the Great and the Roman Empire in turn. It thrived partly due to the predictable flood cycles of the Nile River. It had a pyramid-shaped social hierarchy, which included the pharaoh and nobles at the top; the middle class, merchants and soldiers in the middle; and the peasants and farmers making up the largest class at the bottom.
Egypt’s Upper and Lower Kingdoms: The two Egyptian kingdoms that existed before unification. The Upper Kingdom was located along the southern part of the Nile closer to the mountains, while the Lower Kingdom was located downhill at the northern part of the Nile called the Nile Delta.
Pharaoh: The ruler or king of ancient Egypt after Egyptian unification. The pharaoh eventually became thought of as a living god.
Narmer: The ancient Egyptian king who, around 3000 BCE, united Upper Egypt and Lower Egypt and the first Egyptian pharaoh. With his reign, Egypt began moving through three stages: the Old Kingdom, the Middle Kingdom and the New Kingdom.
Egypt’s Old Kingdom: The period of Egyptian history during which Narmer reigned; pyramids including the Great Pyramid at Giza were built; and the tradition of mummification began
Egypt’s Middle Kingdom: The period of Egyptian history during which, after a time of decline, Mentuhotep restored Egypt’s greatness and fine arts and literature flourished. Though during this time Egypt invaded Nubia for gold, it remained mostly isolated.
Egypt’s New Kingdom: The period of Egyptian history during which, after another brief decline, Egypt’s golden age took place. It is known for its aggressive policies; for its wars with the Hittites and Arameans; for its taking of Nubian slaves; for its conquering of Palestine for a time; and for its legal equality of men and women.
Amenhotep III: The most well-known New Kingdom pharaoh, who led Egypt at its height of wealth and influence
Mummification: The process of preserving dead bodies into very long-lasting mummies. It involved a great deal of salt and cloth wrapping and took 70 days to complete. Mummies of pharaohs were often buried in pyramids.
Pyramid: A special type of massive tomb built for the Egyptian pharaohs and the huge variety of treasures, sacred writings and food meant to accompany them into the afterlife
The Great Pyramid at Giza: The greatest of the Egyptian pyramids and one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. It was made up of six million tons of stone, which may have been brought to the location on bamboo sleds.
The Valley of the Kings: A large, once-secret burial site in ancient Egypt that included many buried pyramids that once housed bodies of New Kingdom pharaohs. King Tut’s body was found there in the 1900s in a pyramid stuffed with treasure.
Mentuhotep: The first pharaoh of the Middle Kingdom who reunited Egypt after a time of political instability
Akhenaten: The Egyptian pharaoh most known for trying to change Egypt’s religious system from polytheism to monotheism. After Akhenaten died, his name was removed from monuments and records, his new capital city was abandoned, and the priests of the old gods reintroduced polytheism.
Aten: The god that Akhenaten worshiped
Cleopatra: The last pharaoh of Egypt who was known for her seductive beauty; her relationships with Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Mark Antony; her influence on Roman politics; and her death by suicide
Ra: The ancient Egyptian god of the sun
Osiris: The ancient Egyptian god of the underworld
Isis: The ancient Egyptian god of fertility
King Tutenkahamen/King Tut: A New Kingdom pharaoh whose tomb, mummified remains and accompanying treasure stash were rediscovered in modern times by British archaeologist Howard Carter in the early 1900s
The Book of the Dead: A collection of manuscripts and spells from ancient Egypt
The Rosetta Stone: An ancient stone tablet dating from around 200 BCE that features text in hieroglyphics and two other languages and which therefore played a key role in the deciphering of hieroglyphics by modern-day scholars
Nubia: The collection of small city-states that arose in modern-day Sudan around 2400 BCE and that were loosely united under the rule of the pharaohs of Egypt. It is known for its iron and gold resources and its flourishing trade with Egypt and beyond.
Kingdom of Kush: The civilization that arose out of Nubia around 800 BCE and lasted till the 300s CE. It is known for gaining control of Nubia, then expanding its kingdom to parts of Ethiopia and Egypt.
Carthage: The powerful city-state in North Africa on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea that, due to its trade with the rest of Africa, threatened both ancient Greece and ancient Rome. Carthage fought the Punic Wars against Greece and fell to Rome for a time. During Roman control, Christianity and other Western ideas spread to Africa.
Phoenicians: The people of Carthage, who were known for their excellent seamanship
Hannibal: The leader of Carthage during ancient Greek and Roman times who is known for fighting the Second Punic War against Greece and crossing the Alps instead of taking the water route to mount a surprise attack on Italy
The Aksum Empire: A wealthy empire located in the Horn of Africa that ruled from about 100 CE to about 1000 CE. It is known for its great cities; its large monoliths; and its widespread acceptance of Christianity.
The Berbers: The name given to the native people of North Africa (Morocco, Algeria and beyond) by foreigners. They are known for their trade with Carthage during ancient times; for their exploitation and enslavement by Carthage; and for their camel-riding.
The Pygmies: An indigenous people who have lived in the forests of central Africa for tens of thousands of years and are known for their small physical size; their bartering culture; their forest-based spiritual beliefs; and their simple hunter-gatherer way of life
The Bantu: An indigenous people who have lived in southern and central Africa, particularly the Great Lakes region, from around 2000 BCE to the present and are known for developing powerful states like the Kingdom of Kongo and the Kingdom of Zimbabwe; for trading with the Greeks and Romans during ancient times; and for their rich cultural heritage, including music, dance, storytelling, and spiritual beliefs.
The Nok: One of the earliest known cultures of Western Africa, which thrived on the Niger River in modern-day Nigeria and beyond from about 500 BCE to about 200 CE. They are known for their pottery and their iron tools.
Jenne-jeno: One of the oldest known cities in subsaharan Africa, located in present-day Mali and founded around 300 CE. It is known for linking West Africa to the Mediterranean and the Sahara and for serving as an important archaeological site in modern times to further our understanding of African history.
The Middle Ages (500 CE to 1500 CE)
The Arab invasion: The invasion of Egypt by Muslim Arabs in the mid-600s that resulted in Arab control of all of the North African coasts and the spread of Islam in this area
The Kingdom of Ghana: One of the first great empires of western Africa, which was located near modern-day Ghana and beyond and which lasted from about the 500s CE to about the 1200s CE. It is known for serving as the center of the African gold trade due to its advantageous location on the Saharan trade route; its Muslim ruling class, which lived in a town connected to the king’s residence; its divine king, which they called Ghana; its rural class, which lived in villages; its adoption of Islam; and its taxing of trade through the area as their main source of wealth rather than production.
The Swahili: An ethnic community who has lived in coastal eastern Africa (Kenya, Uganda and beyond) from around 1000 CE to the present and are known for their mixed Arab, Persian and Bantu ethnicities due to extensive trade with these peoples; their Islamic traditions; their unique language, Swahili, a mix of Bantu and foreign languages; their exports of ivory, slaves and gold; their partial takeover by the Portugese around 1500; and more
Kanem-Bornu: The northwestern African state that was located near Lake Chad and that lasted from about the 800s CE to about the 1800s CE. It is known for being one of the largest and longest-lasting states in African history; for its wealth and power; for its control over the trans-Saharan trade routes that linked West Africa to North Africa and the Mediterranean; and for its sophisticated political, administrative, and cultural practices and systems.
Great Zimbabwe: The southern African empire located on the Zimbabwe Plateau that lasted from the 900s CE to the 1400s. It is known for replacing Mapungubwe; for its stone structures built entirely without mortar, including the wall of the Great Enclosure; for its gold; for its luxurious royal court; and for its trade with its contemporary, Kilwa. About 1430 impressive stone buildings were erected there, and its name comes from the word meaning “stone building”.
The Kingdom of Benin: The western African empire that was located in present-day Nigeria and beyond and that lasted from the 1000s to the 1400s, then became the Benin Empire and lasted till almost 1900 CE. It is known for its extensive forests; its capital, Benin City, that had wide streets, large wooden houses and walls encompassing it; its cloth, ivory, metal, palm oil, and pepper; its bronze carvings; its brass masks and carvings; its rich palace; and its ruler Oba Eware the Great.
Oba Eware the Great: One of the leaders of the Kingdom of Benin, who is known for modernizing the kingdom and for refusing to enslave prisoners or engage in the slave trade, which protected it from European colonization for a time
The Ethiopian Empire: The eastern African empire located in modern-day Ethiopia and beyond that lasted from the 1100s CE to the 1500s CE. It is known for its peacefulness and lack of military expansion; its diplomacy with Europe; and its adoption of Western cultural traditions, including Orthodox Christianity and naming its leader “emperor” instead of “king”. It is also known for building eleven cross-shaped churches carved out of solid rock as well as the church of St. George.
The Kingdom of Mapungubwe: The kingdom considered to be the first state in southern Africa, which lasted from about 1100 CE to the 1200s CE and whose capital was Mapungubwe. It is known for its well-organized central government; its economic power; and its ivory, copper and gold resources.
The Mali Empire: The West African empire that began in the 1200s CE and absorbed the remains of the Ghana Empire. It is known for its salt and gold trade; its thriving agriculture including sorghum, millet and rice; its animal husbandry; its gradual conversion to Islam; its governmental system wherein the farma (leaders of villages) paid tribute to the mansa (the ruler); its book trade; and its culture of learning and literacy.
Mansa Musa: The Mali ruler during the 1300s CE who is known for his pilgrimage to Mecca with 500 slaves, each holding a bar of gold. He gave away so much gold during this trip that gold was devalued in Egypt for over a decade. His expedition increased trade in Africa and influenced thinking about Africa across the Middle East and Europe. He was one of the richest people in history.
Timbuktu: A busy trading city in Mali where salt, horses, gold, and slaves were sold
The Kanem Empire: The southern African empire that was located in the Chad Basin and beyond, at times including parts of Nigeria and South Sudan, and that lasted from the 800s CE to the 1300s CE. It is known for its slave trade; its large cavalry; its adoption of Islam; and its people’s frequent pilgrimages to Mecca.
The Bornu Empire: The southern African empire that was located in the Chad Basin and beyond; that lasted from about the 1300s CE to about 1900 CE; and that replaced the Kanem Empire. It is known for the advantageous location of its capital, Bornu; for its modernized military; for its friendly relations with the Ottoman Empire; and for being the first empire south of the Sahara to import firearms.
Early Modern Times (1500 CE to 1900 CE)
The Zulus: An ethnic group of southern Africa whose exact origins are unknown that make up one of the largest ethnic groups in Africa. They might have formed as a distinct group in the early 1500s. They are known for their advanced militaristic tactics and organization and for their frequent fighting with other tribes, especially during colonial times.
The African slave trade: The enslaving and selling of approximately 13 million African natives to foreign countries, which occurred from the 1500s to the 1800s. Some Africans were captured in raids from their homelands, while others were sold by their own people. Britain and some U.S. states banned the slave trade in the early 1800s, while other U.S. states continued using slaves through the late 1800s.
The Middle Passage: The route taken by slave ships through the Atlantic Ocean between Europe, Africa and the Americas
Dutch East India Company: A Netherlands-based trading company that effectively governed colonized lands and managed trade there. For a time, it controlled the Gold Coast (particularly Ghana) of Africa in order to trade for gold. It founded Cape Town in southern Africa.
The Kingdom of Songhai: The western African empire that lasted from the 1400s CE to the 1600s CE and that became the largest empire in the history of Africa. It is known for overtaking Mali and dominating the west; for its strong central government; for incorporating some Islamic religious traditions; for making Timbuktu a center of Islamic learning; and for the descriptions of it by Roman historian Leo Africanus.
Sunni Ali: The Songhai ruler that, in the 1400s CE, expanded the kingdom to become the largest in Africa’s history. He captured Timbuktu and took control of the Saharan trade route for gold and salt. He was disliked by some for not being a Muslim.
The Kingdom of Rwanda: The southern African empire that was founded around the 1600s CE and that is known for its strict class system that included the elite class called the Tutsi and the farming class called the Hutu
The Kingdom of Kongo: The central African empire that was located in what is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo on the lower Congo River and beyond that lasted from the late 1300s to the late 1800s. It is known for its fertile soil; its good military organization; its artworks, including metalwork, pottery, weaving and musical instruments; its adoption of maize and cassava from the Portugese, which then spread across Africa; its strong centralized rule; and its early adoption of Christianity.
The Boers: Dutch settlers of southern Africa, particularly South Africa, during colonial times. They are known for fighting against the British for control of South Africa; for intimidating African tribes, including the Zulu, with guns and horses; for creating farming settlements; and for playing a key role in the establishment and maintenance of Apartheid.
Scramble for Africa: The colonization and partitioning of most of Africa by seven Western European powers in negotiations that took place from the late 1800s through the early 1900s. Negotiations did not include African governmental leaders. Tribal and national boundaries were redrawn arbitrarily, resulting in the breakup of many ethnic groups in Africa. European motives included prestige and natural resources.
Dr. David Livingstone: A popular British missionary, anti-slavery activist and explorer of the interior of Africa who sought the source of the Nile. He was in turn sought after by by journalist Henry Stanley, who is said to have greeted him when they met in central Africa with the phrase, “Dr. Livingstone, I presume?”
The Boer Wars: The wars fought between the British, the Zulus and the Boers in the late 1800s for control of Cape Colony in South Africa
Cecil Rhodes: The British Prime Minister of Cape Colony of South Africa who sought to unite all of Africa under British rule
The Suez Canal: A man-made waterway in Egypt created in the late 1800s that connects the Mediterranean Sea to the Red Sea, allowing ships to bypass the lengthy and dangerous trip around the African continent and providing a greatly shortened route from the West to India and the Far East. In the late 1800s, Britain took advantage of a financial crisis involving its previous owners (France and Egypt) and bought 50 percent of the shares.
The Modern Era (1900 CE to the Present)
The decolonization of Africa: The gradual regaining of independence from colonial powers by African nations, which took place primarily during the middle part of the 1900s
Apartheid: Apartheid was a system of racial segregation and discrimination that was implemented in South Africa from 1948 to the early 1990s. Under apartheid, the white minority government of South Africa enforced a series of laws that created separate living areas, schools, and public facilities for black, white, and other racial groups. The laws also restricted the movement and rights of black South Africans, including limiting their political participation. The apartheid system was widely condemned as a violation of human rights and faced widespread opposition, both within South Africa and internationally. The anti-apartheid movement, led by Nelson Mandela and others, eventually succeeded in ending the apartheid system and establishing a multi-racial democracy in South Africa.
African National Congress (ANC): A political party in South Africa founded in the early 1900s whose goal was and is to bring about a non-racial, non-sexist and democratic society and government in the area
Desmond Tutu: A South African activist who fought apartheid, advocating for human rights and equality. An Anglican cleric and theologian, he served as the Archbishop of Cape Town in the 1980s and 90s and was the first black South African to hold the position. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Nelson Mandela: A South African activist who in the 1990s became the first Black president of South Africa and whose presidency helped end apartheid. From the 1940s on, he led protests and campaigns against inequality with the African National Congress. He was imprisoned for 27 years for his political activities before being released in 1990. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
In a word, The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in an Age of Colorblindness is stunning. In it, author Michelle Alexander carefully walks the reader through the many legal and law enforcement practices that raise the statistical chances of people of color being incarcerated (most often for minor drug offenses), then, once branded felons, denied civil rights and social services.
Read it to gain a basic understanding of multi-systemic racism in America.
The Summary
African Americans and other people of color are brought into the U.S. criminal justice system at a much higher rate than White people. This mass incarceration can be considered the new Jim Crow–the new system for propagating racism and segregation.
The path to mass incarceration, Alexander writes, includes:
Government programs that (handsomely) incentivise local law enforcement agencies to increase drug-related arrests in any way necessary;
Pinpointing poor neighborhoods for random searches and seizures, which should be illegal but through many legal loopholes, now are effectively entirely legal;
Using very minor driving offenses as an excuse to search and seize;
Inflating penalties for minor drug offenses (such as possession of a small amount of drugs or even being present when drug crimes take place) to frightening (and unconstitutional) levels in order to pressure people to take plea bargains–even people who are entirely innocent of any crime;
Removing civil rights, such as the right to vote, from people branded felons;
Removing social services, such as child care, food benefits and housing from people branded felons;
Allowing places of employment and housing to discriminate based on felon status;
and more.
For people of color, the U.S. criminal justice system is a nearly inescapable entrance to a parallel universe in which Constitutional and other rights are systematically removed and thriving is greatly hindered.
About the Author
Michelle Alexander is an American author, lawyer, and legal scholar. She is best known for her book The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness, which was published in 2010. The book critiques the U.S. criminal justice system and argues that mass incarceration functions as a system of racial control, similar to the Jim Crow laws of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Alexander has also written for several prominent publications, including The New York Times, The Nation, and The Colorlines. She is a graduate of Stanford Law School and has taught at a number of universities, including Ohio State University, where she was an associate professor of law.
Psychology gives, then gives some more. If you haven’t read a good nonfiction book lately, you could do worse than to pick up a popular self-help book or a book on positive psychology. With recent developments in brain scan technology, we’re developing this field quickly, and much of what we learn is quite practical. Even if you don’t suffer from a mood disorder or some other mental health problem, you can find many ways to improve your sense of well-being that have nothing to do with career advancement or material gain. Self-improvement is satisfying, and good habits are self-reinforcing. Never underestimate the power of a good self-help book.
BASIC PSYCHOLOGY
Psychology: The study of human thought, emotions and behavior, including the study of mental disorders; abnormal behaviors; personality differences; developmental stages; and more
Psychotherapy: Mental health counseling, during which a counselor works either one-on-one or in a group setting to help clients explore problems and goals related to mental health
Psychologist: A psychology expert who holds a PhD and might work as in a clinical or research setting
Clinical psychologist: A psychologist who diagnoses and treats mental disorders in a clinical setting
Psychiatrist: A medical doctor who specializes in mental disorders and can prescribe psychotropic medications
Mental health counselor: A licensed counselor with a Master’s degree who diagnoses and treats mental disorders in a clinical setting
Marriage and family therapist: A licensed counselor with a Master’s degree who diagnoses and treats mental disorders in a clinical setting and specializes in couple and family treatment
Life coach: An advisor without an industry-specific license or credential
Psychoanalysis: A method of psychotherapy that seeks to bring unconscious knowledge into conscious knowledge through dream interpretation, Rorschach tests, free association and more. It was developed by Sigmund Freud and rests on the idea that early experiences shape personality.
Sigmund Freud: The founder of psychoanalysis who worked in Austria in the early 1900s and who is most known forhis psychosexual theory of development and his theory of the unconscious
Carl Jung: A psychoanalyst who helped develop Freud’s theory of the unconscious while rejecting his sexual focus
Rorschach test: A psychological test that present ambiguous stimuli in the expectation that people will interpret it in ways that reveal their concerns, desires, feelings and possible mental disorders
Free association: A technique for uncovering a person’s subconscious beliefs by having them respond quickly to questions or prompts, without much thought
Freudian slip: An act or spoken thing that is close to the intended, but different, and reflects unconscious beliefs or anxieties
Freud’s theory of the unconscious: Most of what ails us psychologically resides in the unconscious or subconscious and must be coaxed out through various therapies.
Freud’s theory of the id, ego and superego: The Freudian theory of human behavior that states that there are three parts of human unconscious: the id, a childlike mind who has little impulse control; the superego, a parent-like mind who tries to direct our behavior rightly; and the ego, the more rational self that balances the other two
Freud’s theory of psychosexual development: The Freudian theory of human psychological development that states that it is analagous to human sexual development. It includes the idea of the perfectionistic and controlled “anal retentive” personality type; the idea of “penis envy,” and the idea that boys become sexually attracted to their mothers, which Freud called the “Oedipus complex.”
Freud’s ego defense mechanisms: Denial; displacement (making an unrelated party the object of your anger or blame); intellectualization (to avoid emotion); avoidance; rationalization; projection (placing your own quality or desire onto someone else); regression; repression, sublimation (acting out impulses in a socially acceptable way); reaction formation (taking the opposite stance); suppression.
Behaviorism: A psychological theory that explains human behavior and describes principles of behavioral conditioning, including stimulus and response and negative and positive reinforcements
Ivan Pavlov: A behavioral psychologist who studied conditioned reflexes in the body, such as saliva secretions in dogs after hearing a bell stimulus
B.F. Skinner: The most well-known behavioral psychologist, who performed experiments on animals that showed how their behavior could be modified through learning
Classical conditioning: A form of behavioral conditioning in which two stimuli become associated in someone’s mind through passive learning, such as Pavlov’s dogs and their dinner bell
Operant conditioning: A form of behavioral conditioning in which two stimuli become associated through active learning, such as monkeys who learn to obtain food by pushing a button
Positive reinforcement: The addition of a stimulus after a behavior is exhibited in order to increase the likelihood of the behavior being repeated
Negative reinforcement: The removal of a stimulus after a behavior is exhibited in order to increase the likelihood of the behavior being repeated. An example occurs when a beeping tone stops in your car after you put on your seatbelt.
Punishment: The addition or removal of a stimulus after a behavior is exhibited in order to decrease the likelihood of the behavior being repeated
Desensitization: A behavioral conditioning technique for weakening a strong, undesirable response (such as anxiety about airplane flying) by repeated exposure to the stimulus (airplane flying)
Extinction: The extinguishing of an unwanted behavior through lack of reinforcement. An example is the ceasing of temper tantrums that occurs after a care giver stops giving into them.
Jean Piaget: A developmental psychologist who created a theory of cognitive development that stated that children progress through the sensorimotor stage, the preoperational stage and the concrete operations stage before they arrive at the formal operations stage, at which they have an abstract and nuanced view of the world
Erik Erikson: A developmental psychologist who created a theory of social development that stated that people progress through the “trust versus mistrust” stage as babies; the “autonomy versus shame and doubt” stage as toddlers; the “initiative versus guilt” stage as preschoolers; the “industry versus inferiority” stage as older children; the “identity versus role confusion” stage as adolescents; the “intimacy versus isolation” stage as young adults; the “generativity versus stagnation” stage as middle adults; and the “integrity versus despair” stage as older adults. The names of these stages reflect the dominant goal of each and the positive and negative results if the goal is achieved or not achieved.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: A pyramid-shaped hierarchy of needs developed by Abraham Maslow, with warmth, rest, food, oxygen and water at the bottom; security and safety one step up; belongingness and love after that; prestige and the feeling of accomplishment after that; and self-actualization (the realization of one’s full potential) at the top
Carl Rogers: A psychologist who helped develop a humanistic, client-centered approach to therapy that includes a strong client-therapist bond; unconditional positive regard for the client; and the favoring of listening over advice giving
Talk therapy: A type of therapy in which clients discuss problems and emotions with a trusted counselor
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): A type of therapy developed by Aaron Beck and others that focuses on changing negative patterns of thoughts and behaviors and includes questioning and reframing unhelpful beliefs
Attachment theory: The psychological theory that holds that securely attached babies develop better physically and emotionally that those that are not securely attached, and that throughout their lives most people display one of three or four general attachment styles: a secure attachment style; an avoidant attachment style; an anxious attachment style; or (sometimes) a disorganized attachment style. These styles help explain their interpersonal behaviors and needs.
Positive psychology: The field of psychological research that is concerned with the behaviors and life factors that give people a sense of well-being. It was developed by Martin Seligman and others as a response to the traditional emphasis in psychology on abnormal behaviors and mood states.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM): The basic text used by mental health professionals for diagnosis of psychiatric disorders
Types of psychiatric disorders: Mood disorders including depression; anxiety disorders; phobias; substance abuse disorders; psychotic disorders including schizophrenia; sex- and gender-related disorders; eating disorders; sleep disorders; personality disorders; dissociative disorders; and less common disorders
Borderline personality disorder (BPD): A mental health disorder characterized by impulsiveness, emotional extremes, interpersonal conflict and low self-esteem
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): A mental health disorder characterized by an unusually great need for admiration, a sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others and a sense of entitlement
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD): A mental health disorder characterized by disregard for others’ feelings, violations of others’ rights, a lack of empathy, a lack of remorse, and possible impulsive and/or criminal behaviors of others.
Sociopath/psychopath: Commonly-used labels for a person with antisocial personality disorder. There is no official distinction between these terms, but the word “psychopath” might imply psychosis.
Psychosis: A severe mental condition in which thought and emotions are so affected that contact is lost with external reality
Gender dysphoria: Discomfort experienced because of the difference between gender and your sex, role or gender expression
Compulsion: A repetitive behavior that is used to relieve anxiety
Agoraphobia: The fear of crowds
The theory of multiple intelligences: A psychological theory developed by Howard Gardner that holds that there are eight different types of intelligence: linguistic, logical-mathematical; musical; spacial; bodily-kinesthetic; interpersonal; intrapersonal; and naturalist intelligence. Other theorists proposed different categories of intelligence, while others believe in a single general intelligence factor.
Crystallized intelligence: Mental power that is the result of skills and knowledge collected over time and that tends to increase with age
Fluid intelligence: Mental power that is the result of fast, agile thinking processes, and that tends to decrease with age after the age of thirty
Type A personality: A high-energy personality type characterized by competitiveness, impatience, and an achievement orientation.
Type B personality: A lower-energy personality type characterized by relaxed and easygoing behavior.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator: An assessment tool designed to identify a person’s personality type along four dichotomies: extraversion vs. introversion, sensing vs. intuition, thinking vs. feeling, and judging vs. perceiving. Results are represented as a four-letter code, such as INTJ.
Neuroplasticity: The brain’s ability to change and adapt in response to new experiences, learning, and injury
Catharsis: The release of tension that occurs when repressed thoughts or memories become conscious
Cognitive dissonance: A tension inside someone who has two seemingly conflicting beliefs that they are trying to resolve
Negative sentiment override: A state in which negative thoughts, feelings, and interpretations dominate a person’s perception of their partner or relationship, leading to a pervasive negative bias. This can lead to increased conflict, decreased satisfaction, and decreased intimacy in the relationship.
Confirmation bias: The tendency to accept evidence that supports one’s pre-existing beliefs and to reject evidence that refutes those beliefs
Fundamental attribution error: The tendency to attribute other people’s behavior to their personalities or character, rather than to their circumstances
Learned helplessness: The tendency to give up too easily, often due to a past pattern of failure
Placebo effect: The improvement of a physical or mental condition in people who believe they’ve received a treatment, but have not
Self-concept: The sum of the beliefs and feelings one has about onesself
Self-serving bias: The tendency to attribute one’s successes to internal factors and one’s failures to circumstance
Inferiority complex: A pattern of emotional insecurity leading to angry, suspicious or withdrawn behavior
Compensation: A striving to rid onesself of feelings of inferiority in one area by striving harder in another
Egocentrism: The tendency to ignore others’ points of view in favor of one’s own
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience is one of those nonfiction books I hear quoted most–and the love doesn’t seem to be subsiding. Written by one of the founders of the positive psychology movement, psychologist and researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, it makes a single point, and makes it well: if you want to enjoy what you do, seek flow.
Read this book because you want to figure out how to hack work in such a way that makes it feel like play.
Key Takeaways
Flow, says the author, is a state of focus during which a person loses self-consciousness and time-consciousness and is deeply engaged in the process at had.
Flow isn’t a mysterious condition, though; it comes when three specific, identifiable conditions are met. These are: an appropriate level of challenge; clear goals and feedback, and control/autonomy.
Autonomy can be achieved in even small ways, and the difference it makes to work satisfaction can hardly be overstated.
Flow can be achieved even during what some consider routine or menial tasks. The book tells the story of a farmer in the Italian Alps who enjoys all her various tasks, from dawn to dusk. When asked which task she enjoys most, she named them all, one by one. The book also features a self-taught welder who mastered every phase of his plant’s operation and, in his spare time, built a backyard garden (with rainbow features!). “It could be said that they work sixteen hours a day, but it could also be said that they never work,” the author writes of these workers.
About the Author
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a Hungarian psychologist and researcher. He is known for his work on the concept of “flow,” a state of complete engagement and enjoyment in an activity. He has written several books and articles on the subject, and his work has had a significant impact on the fields of psychology and positive psychology. Csikszentmihalyi has received numerous awards and honors for his contributions to the field of psychology.
In some schools, the history of Europe is the history of Western civilization, and the history of Western civilization is the history of the world. This isn’t the case. In this book, I outline the story of each major land area separately in order to give weight to developments in other areas around the globe.
ESSENTIAL KNOWLEDGE: HISTORY OF EUROPE
Ancient Times (3000 BCE to 500 CE)
The Minoans: The ancient people who lived on the island of Crete near ancient Greece from about 2700 BCE to the 1400s BCE. They are known for their written language, Linear A; their elaborate palace complexes, one of which is fabled to contain a large labyrinth; their centralized bureaucracy; their indoor plumbing; their advanced art and architecture; and their wide trading network. Their island location allowed their people to spend more time on cultural achievement and the gathering of wealth and less time on protection. Their civilization disappeared for unknown reasons.
The Myceaneans: The ancient people whose civilization dominated Greece and the Aegean region from the 1600s BCE to the 1100s BCE. They are known for their graves filled with gold and silver; for their warlike culture; for their strong kings including Agamemnon; for their monumental palaces; for their written language, Linear B; for their extensive trade networks; for their military prowess; and for being the setting of Homer’s epic poems.
The Greek dark ages: A period of political, cultural and economic decline and instability in ancient Greece from the end of the Mycenaean civilization in the 1100s BCE to the 700s BCE, when Greek city-states began to flourish
Homer: The ancient Greek believed to be the author of the epic poems The Iliad and The Odyssey, which gather together long-recited oral myths and histories including the Trojan War, Odysseus’ journey home from the war and more
Ancient Greece: The civilization located in modern-day Greece, Turkey, Crete and beyond from the 700s BCE to the 300s CE. It is known for the political independence of each of its city-states and for its many contributions to political, artistic, philosophical and scientific thought.
Hellenism: Greek culture, which included the development of democracy, philosophy, science, music, oratory, rationalism, individualism, theater, sports and much more. After spreading to Persia, Egypt and India after Alexander the Great’s campaigns, then to Rome, it became the basis of Western culture.
Ancient Athens: The largest and one of the most prominent ancient Greek city-states, which is known for its focus on education, particularly oration and rhetoric; its invention of the democratic style of government; its art and architecture, which included the Parthenon and the Acropolis; its busy port; and more. It was the home of Socrates, Plato and Cicero. The first Olympics was held there.
The Acropolis: An ancient citadel located on a rocky outcrop in Athens, Greece, known for its historical significance and iconic architectural structures, including the Parthenon
The Parthenon: An ancient temple located on the Athenian Acropolis, dedicated to the Greek goddess Athena, and considered one of the most important architectural and cultural landmarks of ancient Greece
Ancient Sparta: One of the most prominent ancient Greek cities and Athens’ rival, which is known for its focus on military education; its use of agricultural slaves; its comparatively extensive rights for women; its invention of the phalanx; and more. In one well-known battle against the Persians on a mountain pass, the Battle of Thermopylae, 300 Spartans died rather than retreat.
Phalanx: A military marching formation that was rectangular in shape in which individual soldiers marched forward as one entity
The Macedonian Empire: The ancient empire located north of the Greek city-states that was founded by King Philip II of Macedon in the 300s BCE and greatly extended by his son Alexander the Great that same century. A monarchy, at its largest it included the kingdom of Macedon, Greece, Egypt and parts of Persia and India. After Alexander’s death, it quickly fragmented.
Alexander the Great: The King of Macedonia who, during the 300s BCE, extended the Macedonian Empire from Macedon and northern Greece to all of Greece, plus Egypt and parts of Persia and India. In Persia, he fought the much larger army of Darius the III, and in India, his army faced elephants during battle. After a victory in India, his soldiers became exhausted and asked to return home. He reluctantly agreed, then died on the difficult journey back at the age of 32. He failed to organize his colonies or make a plan for succession after his death. It is said that his last words were, “To the strongest.” He is known for his flexible, intelligent military strategies and for his great pride and hunger for power.
The Gordian Knot: A complex knot tied by King Gordius, which Alexander visited during his campaigns. According to legend, the person who was able to untie the knot would rule all of Asia. Alexander was unable to untie the knot, so he instead cut it with his sword, demonstrating his decisive approach to leadership.
Bucephalus: Alexander the Great’s horse, who, according to legend, no one but Alexander could have tamed
The Etruscans: The people whose civilization thrived in central Italy from the 700s BCE to the 200s BCE and who are known for passing on many cultural ideas to Rome, including architecture, engineering and their alphabet
The Roman Republic: The name of the Roman civilization during the 500 years when it was a Greek-influenced democratic oligarchy led by leaders called patricians. (Prior to this, Rome was led by kings for about 200 years.) It won the Punic Wars against the Carthaginian Empire and its notable military general Hannibal which allowed it to gain control of the Mediterranean.
The Roman Empire: The name of the Roman civilization during its final 500 years when it was an autocratic system led by emperors. While some emperors expanded the empire, presided over the time known as the Pax Romana (“peace of Rome”) and built the architectural and infrastructural feats Rome is known for, others were corrupt and ineffective. Overall, ancient Rome is known for its expansiveness; its military might; its strong infrastructure including roads and aqueducts; its invention of concrete and the Roman arch that concrete made possible; its calendar, which marks the year 1 in the early part of the Roman Empire and is still in use today; the Roman Catholic Church; and its partly self-inflicted fall. It was eventually sacked by the Goths in 410 CE and finally dissolved fully in 476 CE to the Germanic king Odoacer, the event that marks the beginning of the Middle Ages.
Julius Caesar: The Roman general and statesman who lived during the first century BCE. He is known for his conquest of Gaul and his invasion of Britain, which expanded the Roman Empire; for his reforms to the Roman Republic, such as the introduction of the Julian calendar, which had a lasting impact on Western civilization; for his murder by his fellow politicians that led to the end of the Roman Republic and the rise of the Roman Empire; and for being one of the greatest military commanders in history.
Marcus Antonius/Mark Antony: The Roman politician and general who lived during the first century BCE. He is known for being a close ally of Julius Caesar; for playing a key role in the events following Caesar’s death; and for his alliance with Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt. After Caesar’s assassination, Antony formed an alliance with Octavian and Lepidus known as the Second Triumvirate. Together, they engaged in a civil war against Caesar’s assassins and were successful. However, the alliance between Antony and Octavian eventually deteriorated as they vied for power. In the Battle of Actium in 31 BCE, Octavian’s forces defeated Antony and Cleopatra’s combined forces. Following their defeat, both Antony and Cleopatra died by suicide. Octavian’s victory over Antony solidified his position as the sole ruler of Rome, and he went on to become the first Roman emperor, taking the name Augustus.
Gaius Octavius/Emperor Augustus: The Roman politician who founded the Roman Empire and became its first emperor. He is known for his political acumen, shown in his ability to convince Rome to move from an oligarchy to a monarchy; for his leadership skills, shown in his ability to bring peace and stability to Rome after decades of civil war; and his cultural, political, and military achievements, including the expansion of the Roman Empire, the establishment of a standing army, and the construction of many monumental buildings. He became known as Augustus after becoming emperor.
The Celts: The people who lived in various parts of Europe from around the 700s BCE to the 400s CE and who are known for their distinctive language, religious beliefs, and artistic traditions; their bravery in battle; their love of nature; their complex social and political organization; and their successful resistance to Roman takeover. At their peak in the first century CE, they were spread over much of central Europe. They did not have a written language, so knowledge of them is limited to Roman records.
The Colosseum: An ancient Roman amphitheater in the heart of Rome, Italy, known for its grandeur and historical significance as a venue for gladiatorial contests and public spectacles
Nero: The Roman emperor who ruled during the first century CE after being adopted by the previous emperor. He is known for his tyrannical rule; for his brutal persecution of Christians; for his extravagance that weakened the empire; for the Great Fire of Rome that occurred during his reign, which he may have neglected to control; for his erratic behavior and possible madness; for expanding the Roman road system and other infrastructure; and for committing suicide after the Roman Senate declared him a public enemy.
Diocletian: The Roman emperor who ruled during the late 200s and early 300s CE and is known for restructuring the Roman Empire into four administrative regions, each with its own emperor, which helped stabilize it and extend its longevity; for implementing price controls as well as military and tax reforms; and for persecuting Christians.
The Roman Catholic Church: The Christian church that was founded in the 1st century CE and is headquartered in Rome. It is known for being a dominant cultural and political force for over a thousand years, influencing art, architecture, law, education, and morality.
The Pope: The bishop of Rome and the supreme head of the Roman Catholic Church
Constantine the Great: The Roman Emperor who ruled during the 300s CE and is known for his conversion to Christianity; for establishing Christianity as the dominant religion in the Roman Empire; and for splitting the empire into the Western Roman Empire (where Rome remained the capital) and the Eastern Roman Empire/The Byzantine Empire, with Constantinople (formerly Byzantium) as the capital. Because Rome had been in decline for many years, Constantinople himself moved to Constantinople and headed that half.
The Council of Nicaea: A conference held by Constantine the Great that helped define the doctrine of the Christian Church, particularly the doctrine of the trinity
The Edict of Milan: A law of Constantine the Great’s that granted tolerance to Christians and other religions in the Roman Empire
The Byzantine Empire: The empire set up by Constantine the Great when he split the Roman empire into two halves. It lasted from the 300s CE to the 1400s CE. It included parts of Greece, Asia Minor and the Balkans. It is known for serving as the continuation of the Roman Empire after the Western Roman Empire fell; for spreading classic Greek and Roman culture; for spreading Christianity; and for influencing Byzantine art and architecture.
Odoacer: The Germanic king who in 476 overthrew the last Western Roman emperor to become king of Italy, an event that marks the end of ancient history and the beginning of the Middle Ages
The Middle Ages (500 CE to 1500 CE)
The Holy Roman Empire: The collection of loosely organized, multi-ethnic territories in central and western Europe that were each ruled by kings or other leaders as well as by an elected emperor who was called the Holy Roman Emperor. It lasted from the 900s CE to the 1800s CE. It is known for its internal instability; for its first and most famous emperor, Charlemagne; and for its roles in the Crusades, the Reformation and the Thirty Years’ War.
Charlemagne: The first Holy Roman Emperor, formerly a king of the Franks, who was crowned in 800 CE. He is known for unifying much of Western Europe by creating the Carolingian Empire; spreading Christianity; promoting education; and issuing a more effective legal code known as the “Capitularies”.
The Vikings: A seafaring people who lived primarily in Scandinavia from the 700s CE to the 1000s CE. They are known for their naval raids and conquests, which took them as far as North America, the Mediterranean, and the Middle East; their extensive trading; their longships; and their distinctive culture.
Feudalism: The social, economic, and political system that dominated Europe from the 800s CE to the 1400s CE. It was characterized by its hierarchical social structure in which serfs (farmers) owed labor and tribute to vassals (land owners), who owed labor, loyalty and military service to lords, who owed loyalty to kings.
The Book of Kells: The most famous medieval illuminated manuscript, which was created by monks in Ireland, Scotland or England in approximately 800 AD. It was named after the Abbey of Kells, where it was kept for centuries. It is known for its masterful calligraphy and illustrations and its overall intricacy and detail. It contains the four gospels of the New Testament plus various other religious texts.
William the Conqueror: The King of England during the 1000s CE who started as the Duke of Normandy in France. He is known for claiming the English throne after the death of an English king who had no successors, then defeating his competitor at the Battle of Hastings to become the King of England, thus beginning the Norman Conquest of England. He is also known for introducing to England Norman administrators who influenced the development of the English language and other aspects of English culture; for attempting to control England by establishing a new system of feudalism that involved a series of castles, fortifications, and lands granted to Norman lords; and for commissioning the Domesday Book, a comprehensive survey of England’s land and resources.
The Norman invasions: The series of military campaigns led by Norman nobles in the 1000s and 1100s CE aimed at conquering and settling new lands in Europe and the Mediterranean, of which William the Conquerer’s conquest of England was a part. They are known for the use of advanced military tactics, including the use of heavy cavalry; for their centers of trade and culture in southern Italy and Sicily; and for the role of the Norman knights in the Crusades.
The bubonic plague/black plague/Black Death: The pandemic of that swept through Europe, the Middle East, and Asia in the 1300s CE that killed between 75 million and 200 million people, or roughly one third of the world’s population at the time. It was spread through fleas that lived on rats, and death from it often came within three to five days. It led to widespread economic and social upheaval that contributed to the end of the feudal system and the rise of the capitalist system.
The Hundred Years War: The series of conflicts fought between England and France in the 1300s and 1400s over control of the French throne. It was initiated by Edward III of England and is known for the use of new military tactics, such as the widespread use of longbows; for the use of new weapons, such as the cannon; and for contributing to the decline of feudalism.
Joan of Arc: The French army leader who rallied the French to victory in several key battles of the Hundred Years’ War, including the liberation of the city of Orleans. She is known for believing herself to be inspired by God to lead; for being captured by the English and tried for heresy; for being burned at the stake; for being a symbol of French nationalism; and for being canonized as a saint by the Catholic Church in 1920.
The Inquisition: The series of institutions established by the Catholic Church primarily in the late 1100s and 1200s, but also as late as the 1800s in some areas, to combat religious dissent in Europe. It was a judicial body, with the power to investigate, prosecute, and punish individuals suspected of heresy. Its methods were often brutal, and it was known for its use of torture to extract confessions. Those found guilty of heresy were often punished by death, either by burning at the stake or by being hanged and quartered. The most famous branch was the Spanish Inquisition of the mid-1400s.
The fall of Constantinople: The capture of the Byzantine Empire’s capital city, Constantinople, by the Ottoman Empire in the 1400s, which helped establish the Ottomans as a major power in the region and signified the end of the Middle Ages
Early Modern Times (1500 CE through 1900 CE)
The Renaissance: The movement that took place in Europe from the 1300s to the 1600s that was characterized by advances in art and literature, such as Michelangelo’s David, Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, and Shakespeare’s plays; advances in technology and exploration; renewed interest in ancient Greek and Roman culture; and a partial shift away from feudalism and religion
Galileo Galilei: An Italian astronomer, physicist, and mathematician who made major contributions to the Scientific Revolution during the 1500s. He is known for his work using the newly invented telescope to observe the heavens, which led to several groundbreaking discoveries. He was eventually put on trial by the Inquisition for heresy.
Johannes Gutenberg: The inventor of the first movable type and the first printing press for books, which began the printing revolution in the 1400s
Nicolaus Copernicus: A Renaissance-era astronomer, mathematician, and cleric from Poland, best known for proposing that the sun, not the earth, was the center of the universe and that the planets, including Earth, revolve around it
The Protestant Reformation: The movement that took place in Europe in the 1500s as a reaction against the corruption and excesses of the Roman Catholic Church, which led to the formation of new Protestant denominations and considerably reduced Catholic power
Martin Luther: The father of the Protestant Reformation. A German monk and theologian, he is known for his “Ninety-Five Theses,” the list of criticisms of the Catholic Church’s practices, especially the sale of indulgences, that he nailed to the door of a church in Germany. His ideas quickly spread throughout Europe, challenging the authority of the Church and leading to the formation of Protestant denominations. He is also known for translating the Bible into German, making it accessible to the common people, and for writing numerous treatises and sermons that outlined his views on salvation, faith, and the role of the Church.
Henry VIII: The king of Great Britain in the 1500s who is known for severing ties with Roman Catholicism after the Pope refused to annul his marriage; for establishing the Church of England, with himself as the head of it; and for marrying six times
The colonial era: The period of time from the 1400s to the mid-1900s when European powers established colonies and empires in various regions of the world, including the Americas, Africa, Asia and Australia. This period is characterized by European exploration, the establishment of settlements, the exploitation of resources and labor, and the imposition of European cultural, political, and economic systems on the colonized populations.
Vasco da Gama: The Portuguese explorer who is known for being the first European to reach India by sea. The voyage, which he undertook on behalf of Spain in the late 1400s, marked the beginning of the European exploration of Asia leading to colonization.
Ferdinand Magellan: The Portuguese explorer who is known for leading the first expedition to circumnavigate the Earth in the early 1500s. He sailed on behalf of Spain. After crossing the Atlantic, he reached South America, then sailed across the Pacific to the Phillippines. Though he died there, his expedition continued and some of the crew returned home safely.
Hernán Cortés: The Spanish conquistador who played a key role in the conquest of the Aztec Empire in Mexico in the 1500s. Cortés arrived in Mexico with a force of approximately 600 men and quickly gained the support of several indigenous groups who were hostile to the Aztecs. He marched on the Aztec capital, Tenochtitlan, with a mixed army of Spanish soldiers and indigenous allies and captured the city. This marked the beginning of the Spanish colonization of Mexico and established Spain as a major world power.
Francisco Pizarro: The Spanish conquistador who is best known for his conquest of the Inca Empire in South America in the 1500s. After arriving in South America, he quickly established a small settlement in what is now Peru. He then led a force of Spanish soldiers and indigenous allies against the Incas, eventually capturing their emperor, Atahualpa, and securing control of the empire.
The Thirty Years’ War: The religious war that took place in Europe during the 1600s, mostly among states belonging to the Holy Roman Empire but also involving France, Sweden, and the Habsburg empire. It occurred due to ambitions of expansion as well as ideological differences between Protestant and Catholic states. It resulted in the deaths of about a third of the population of the Holy Roman Empire. It contributed to the lessened frequency of religious wars in Europe, the decline of the Holy Roman Empire, and the rise of the modern nation-state. The war also marked the beginning of the modern era of warfare, as it was one of the first wars in which mass conscript armies, new military technologies, and tactics were used.
The English Civil War: The English Civil War was a series of conflicts between Parliamentarians (also known as Roundheads–those that sought increased power of the parliament) and Royalists (also known as Cavaliers–those that sought increased power of the monarchy) that took place in England in the 1600s. The Parliamentarians won and overthrew (and killed) King Charles I; however, the power gap was soon filled by Oliver Cromwell and later, the monarchy was restored with the coronation of King Charles II.
Charles I: The king of England who was deposed during the English Civil War
Oliver Cromwell: The English military and political leader who installed himself as the Lord Protector of England, Scotland, and Ireland during the English Civil War. Though he called himself a Parliamentarian, during his reign he dissolved the Rump Parliament and established a military dictatorship known as the Protectorate. He is also known for modernizing England’s military and administrative systems. After his death, his body was exhumed and he was posthumously tried and executed for his role in the regicide of Charles I.
The Seven Years War: A global conflict that took place primarily between France and Great Britain during the 1700s, and also pulled in many other European countries and their colonies. It was caused by a complex set of political, economic, and territorial disputes and resulted in Britain gaining control of large territories in North America that previously belonged to France, aiding their rise as a global superpower.
The Enlightenment: The cultural, intellectual, and scientific movement that took place in Europe and North America in the late 1600s and 1700s and which was characterized by a focus on reason, individualism and scientific inquiry, as opposed to traditional authority, such as religion. It is known for advancements in art, philosophy, science and more and is also called the Age of Reason.
Isaac Newton: A renowned English mathematician, physicist, and astronomer who is considered one of the most influential scientists of all time. He formulated the laws of motion and universal gravitation, laying the groundwork for classical mechanics and profoundly shaping the scientific understanding of the physical world.
Eli Whitney: The inventor of the cotton gin, who created it in the late 1700s. This machine revolutionized the production of cotton by making it much faster and easier to separate the fibers from the seeds. Increased cotton production spurred on the growth of the textile industry and contributed to the Industrial Revolution.
The French Revolution: The war that took place in France in the late 1700s that resulted in the overthrow of the monarchy and the feudal system and the establishment of democracy in France. It began with the storming of the Bastille and ended with the rise of Napoleon Bonaparte. The revolution was caused by a variety of factors, including the financial crisis in France, widespread poverty, and enlightenment ideas about individual liberty and equality.
The Bastille: A prison and fortress located in Paris, France that was attacked and taken by a revolution-seeking mob in 1789 on a day now known as Bastille Day. The mob acquired weapons and set the prisoners free as an act of mutiny against the monarchy in the early part of the French Revolution. The prison was eventually torn down and replaced with a large square called the Place de la Bastille, which remains an important symbol of the Revolution.
Maximilien Robespierre: One of the leaders of the French Revolution and of the post-revolution government, who is known for establishing the Committee of Public Safety with himself at its head, then starting the Reign of Terror. Eventually, he fell from power and was arrested and executed by the new government.
The Reign of Terror: The period of extreme violence and repression during the French Revolution that was implemented by the Committee of Public Safety, a revolutionary government body established to defend the revolution from its enemies both foreign and domestic. During this time, thousands of people were arrested and executed without trial on charges of being enemies of the revolution.
Napoleon Bonaparte: The first consul of the newly created French Republic, and, following this, the Emperor of the French. He is known for his ruthless and relentless military conquests across Europe; for helping France become one of the dominant powers in Europe; for his legal, administrative, and educational reforms known as the Napoleonic Code; and for establishing the first French empire. At its height, his empire included much of Europe, including parts of modern-day France, Italy, Germany, Spain, and the Netherlands. However, his empire began to crumble after a series of defeats, and he was eventually exiled to the island of Elba in the early 1800s. He escaped after several years and returned to France, but was soon defeated and exiled to the island of Saint Helena, where he died.
The Napoleonic Wars: The military campaigns of Napoleon Bonaparte
The Battle of Waterloo: The last battle of Napoleon Bonaparte, fought near the town of Waterloo in modern-day Belgium, which marked the end of Napoleon’s conquests
The Congress of Vienna: The series of diplomatic meetings held in Vienna, Austria in the early 1800s that sought to reestablish peace and stability in Europe after the Napoleonic Wars. It resulted in an enlargement of Russia and Prussia; a consolidation of the approximately 300 states of the Holy Roman Empire into a loose German confederation of about 39 states under the leadership of Prussia and Austria; and other changes. It also created system of international relations based on the principle of legitimacy, which held that monarchs should rule according to laws and customs and that borders should be respected. Finally, it reestablished many of the pre-Napoleonic monarchies, imposing conservative, anti-democratic policies aimed at preventing the spread of revolutionary ideals.
The Crimean War: The conflict that took place primarily in the Crimea area on the Black Sea coast of modern-day Ukraine during the mid-1800s between the Russian Empire and an alliance of the Ottoman Empire, France, Britain and Sardinia. Russia sought to expand, while the other countries sought to check Russian expansion. Russia lost decisively. It is known for the introduction of new technologies and tactics, including the use of ironclads, telegraphs, and modern nursing practices and the creation of the Red Cross, which was established to provide humanitarian aid to wounded soldiers.
The Industrial Revolution: The period of rapid industrialization and modernization that took place in Europe and North America in the 1700s and 1800s. It was characterized by the development of new technologies, especially in manufacturing, farming and transportation, which made consumer goods cheaper; increasing urbanization; economic growth; and the rise of capitalism. Notable inventions of this time included the steam-powered engine and the train; the camera; the steamship; and the telegraph.
Charles Darwin: A British naturalist and biologist who is best known for his theory of evolution by natural selection, outlined in his groundbreaking work “On the Origin of Species.” His theory revolutionized the understanding of how species adapt and change over time, providing a significant contribution to the field of biology and reshaping the understanding of the development of life on Earth.
Marie Curie: A pioneering physicist and chemist of Polish and French nationality, known for her groundbreaking research on radioactivity and for being the first woman to win a Nobel Prize
The Modern Era (1900 CE to the Present)
Albert Einstein: The Swiss-born physicist who developed the General Theory of Relativity and other key theories centered around gravity in the early 1900s in the U.S.
World War I: The global conflict that lasted from 1914 to 1918 and involved Europe, the United States, Russia, Japan, Australia and other countries. The causes of the war included nationalism; militarism; imperialism; and entangling alliances, which caused nations to defend their allies, spurring even more conflict. The spark that ignited the war was the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary by a Serbian nationalist. The conflict quickly escalated, as Germany, Austria-Hungary, and the Ottoman Empire formed the Central Powers and went to war against France, Russia, and the United Kingdom, who formed the Allied Powers. The war was fought on several fronts, including the Western Front in France and Belgium, the Eastern Front in Russia, and the Italian Front. The war is known for its mass casualties (including about 20 million deaths); the introduction of new weapons, such as machine guns, poison gas, and tanks; the horrific experience of trench warfare; and for setting the stage for World War II. It is sometimes also known as the Great War.
Archduke Franz Ferdinand: The heir presumptive to the Austro-Hungarian Empire whose assassination led to the outbreak of war between Austria-Hungary and Serbia, which then led to the outbreak of World War I
The Treaty of Versailles: The treaty that officially ended World War I. It called for harsh financial and military penalties for Germany and created many new Eastern European countries out of the German, Austrian/Hungarian, Russian and Ottoman Empires.
The Weimar Republic: The German government founded after World War I to replace the monarchy
The League of Nations: The precursor to the United Nations which was promoted by U.S. president Wilson after World War I to prevent further large-scale wars
The Great Depression: A severe worldwide economic depression that lasted from 1929 to 1939.It originated in the United States and quickly spread to other countries, leading to a decline in global trade and economic activity. During it, millions of people lost their jobs and many lived in poverty. Its causes include the overproduction of goods, a decrease in consumer spending, a decline in agriculture and the failure of the banking system. It led to greatly increased governmental involvement in the economy and an increase in state welfare programs.
Benito Mussolini: The dictator of Italy from the 1920s to the 1940s and the founder of the Fascist party who ruled through totalitarianism and extreme nationalism. During World War II he allied with Germany and Japan but was deposed in 1943 and executed in 1945. After he was removed from office, Italy switched sides in the war and joined the Allies.
Spanish Civil War: The civil war that took place in Spain from 1936 to 1939 between the Nationalists, a fascist group, and the Republicans, a varied group including communists and progressives. The nationalists won.
Francisco Franco: The dictator of Spain from the 1930s to the 1970s and the leader of the Nationalists during the Spanish Civil War
The Commonwealth: A voluntary political association of sovereign states, most of which were once part of the British Empire, which serves as a platform for cooperation and collaboration on a wide range of issues and promotes the values of democracy, human rights and more. Some of these states are republics, while others are monarchies.
World War II: The global conflict that lasted from 1939 to 1945 and involved the majority of the world’s nations, which eventually formed two opposing military alliances: the Allied Powers and the Axis Powers. The war began with the invasion of Poland by Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union and quickly spread, drawing in many other nations. From there, Germany captured many European countries including France, Scandanavia and the Balkans (though Britain successfully resisted). Italy, meanwhile, attempted to take North Africa. Then Germany invaded the USSR and was unsuccessful. Meanwhile, Japan (who joined the war in 1940) attacked Britain in Southeast Asia and the U.S. at Hawaii. Germany also declared war on the U.S. The U.S., which had already been supplying aid to the Allies, joined at that time. The war in Europe ended after a decisive victory at Normandy and the rapid advancement of the Allies through Europe that followed. The war in the Pacific ended after the U.S. dropped two atomic bombs on Japan. The primary causes of the war included aggressive expansionist policies by the Axis powers, particularly Nazi Germany, as well as a failure by the international community to prevent the aggressive actions of these powers. The war resulted in the deaths of tens of millions of people, including soldiers and civilians, and caused widespread destruction across Europe, Africa, and Asia.
The Axis Powers: The name for the alliance between Germany, Italy and Japan during World War II
The Allied Powers: The name for the alliance between Great Britain, the Soviet Union, the U.S. and other countries during World War II
Adolf Hitler: The Chancellor of Germany and leader of the Nazi party during the 1930s who is known for starting World War II and for implementing the Holocaust. He committed suicide before being captured by the Allies as they closed in on the city. His girlfriend (who he married before their death), Eva Braun, also killed herself at that time.
The Munich Agreement: The treaty signed in Munich, Germany before the start of World War II between the leaders of Nazi Germany and the United Kingdom, France and Italy. It allowed Nazi Germany to annex the Sudetenland, a region in western Czechoslovakia with a large German-speaking population, in exchange for a guarantee of peace–an agreement Hitler soon broke. It is often seen as having paved the way for the Nazi occupation of the rest of Czechoslovakia and the eventual outbreak of World War II.
Winston Churchill: The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during World War II, who is known for successfully fighting off Germany during the Battle of Britain; for forging an alliance with the United States and Soviet Union to defeat the Axis powers; for giving inspiring speeches; for not negotiating with Hitler; and for being awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature.
The Lend-lease Act: A U.S. law passed in during World War II that called for financial and material aid (including weapons, food and raw materials) to be provided to the Allies by the U.S. during World War II, even though the U.S. had not yet officially entered the war
The Normandy Landing/D-day: The World War II military operation in which the Allies landed on the beaches of Normandy, France, recaptured France from Germany and started the push through Europe that ended the war. It occurred in June 1944.
Victory in Europe Day/V-E Day: The date that marks the end of World War II in Europe when the Allies accepted the unconditional surrender of Nazi Germany: May 8, 1945
The Holocaust: The systematic genocide of eleven million people, including six million Jews, by Germany between 1933 and 1945. The victims, including Jews, disabled individuals, political prisoners, homosexuals, and others, were sent to concentration camps, where they were subjected to forced labor, medical experiments, and mass extermination via gas chambers. The Nazis called this effort the Final Solution.
The United Nations (UN): The international organization founded after World War II to promote peace, security, and cooperation among nations. It has almost 200 member states and its headquarters is in New York City. Its main objectives are to maintain international peace; to engage in diplomacy; and to promote human rights. The World Health Organization and UNICEF are part of the UN.
The Marshall Plan: A U.S.-led plan offering subsidies to help rebuild Western Europe after World War II
The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO): The political and military alliance of thirty North American and European countries that was established after World War II to promote stability and democracy
The Warsaw Pact: The agreement between the Soviet Union and many communist Eastern European countries that was made after Word War II to ally against the U.S. and against the spread of democracy
The Suez Crisis: The conflict that occurred in the 1950s when Israel, Britain and France captured the Suez Canal Zone from Egypt, on whose territory the Canal Zone is located. It brought widespread international condemnation and the intervention of the United Nations, which eventually forced Israel, Britain and France to withdraw from Egypt. It damaged the reputation of France and Britain and helped establish the U.S. and the Soviet Union as the two superpowers of the Cold War.
Jane Goodall: A renowned British primatologist, ethologist, and anthropologist, best known for her extensive and groundbreaking research on the behavior of wild chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park, Tanzania
The European Union (EU): The political and economic union of 27 European countries that was founded after World War II to promote peace, stability and economic growth in Europe. It operates through a number of institutions, including the European Parliament, the European Commission, and the European Council. The EU has a common market, which allows for the free movement of goods, capital, services, and people within its member states. The EU has also established a common currency, the euro.
The euro: The currency used by 19 of the 27 countries of the European Union (EU), whose introduction in 1999 was a major step in the integration of European economies and was designed to facilitate trade and investment, promote economic stability, and reduce transaction costs
Brexit: The separation of the UK from the EU that occurred in 2020
Don’t worry: it’s not another book on spirituality, even though it might sound like it. Instead, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach is a primer on being a human being with feelings.
Read it to find out an exciting (but not new) way of accepting the ups and downs of life.
The Summary
Radical acceptance is the practice of accepting what is–even the bad stuff. Every aspect of your current experience is healthy, Brach writes. Radical acceptance is also the practice of unconditionally accepting yourself.
Most of us have an internal story about our own acceptability and enoughness. We are not good enough, perfect enough, etc. At heart, we believe that something is fundamentally wrong with us–something that we need to fix.
Only when we first accept ourselves, can we change what we prefer to change.
To combat this, accept every emotional experience that comes. Doing so–saying “yes” to our experiences–doesn’t cause us to become apathetic. Instead, self-acceptance allows us to grow at a relaxed but consistent pace.
Human nature finds apathy and stagnation uncomfortable, disagreeble–almost impossible. We consistently desire to grow and improve, especially when we feel good about ourselves.
One way to learn radical acceptance is to practice pauses. Pause, notice, sit with and accept whatever you are experiencing in the moment. Do this when emotionally flooded, and also make a habit of pausing throughout your day.
Offer unconditional friendliness to your pain, suffering, insecurities and all other feelings. Invite the feelings to tea, so to speak.
Name these insecure and painful thoughts as a way of noticing them.
Instead of resisting everything, agree with everything. Silently whisper, “yes” to it all. It will feel mechanical and insincere at first, but in time, it will feel more natural.
Don’t blame yourself and criticize yourself for your pain, illogic, insecurities and other negativity. Simply notice and accept.
About the Author
Tara Brach is a psychologist, author, and teacher of mindfulness and Buddhist meditation. She is the founder and senior teacher of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C. and a guiding teacher at the Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California. Tara is known for her work in the field of mindfulness and emotional healing, and has written several books, including the popular Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha.
The Middle East isn’t its own continent, but with its distinct climate, its cultural uniqueness, its geographical separation from the rest of Asia and its political separation from Europe, its story is largely its own. Here, review your knowledge of the first civilization in history, and the many other great Middle Eastern civilizations to follow.
ESSENTIAL KNOWLEDGE: HISTORY OF THE MIDDLE EAST
Ancient Times (3000 BCE to 500 CE)
Sumer: The collection of cities that arose in ancient southern Mesopotamia along the Tigris and Euphrates rivers around 4000 BCE and that made up the first known human civilization. It was not a unified empire; each city-state had its own ruler and government. It is known for its ziggurats; its use of cuneiform; and its professional scribes and accountants.
Ziggurats: Massive pyramid-like buildings with stepped sides that served as centers of worship and administrative centers in ancient Mesopotamia
The Akkadian Empire: The ancient Mesopotamian empire that lasted from about 2300 BCE to about 2100 BCE and that is sometimes considered the world’s first empire. Likely encompassing most of Mesopotamia, it united the northern Akkadian people and the southern Sumerian people under one rule. Akkad became its capital, and Akkadian became the dominant language, though Sumerian was also used.
Sargon the Great: The Sumerian ruler who united northern and southern Mesopotamia into the Akkadian Empire in the 2300s BCE. He is known for establishing a centralized government; for standardizing weights and measures; and for promoting Akkadian as the official language of the empire.
The Assyrian Empire: The ancient Mesopotamian empire that lasted from about 2100 BCE to about 600 BCE and that dominated northern Mesopotamia in the valley of the Upper Tigris River. It was named after its capital and ongoing prominent city Assur. It co-existed with its southern rival, the Babylonian Empire, with each empire enjoying periods of dominance. Eventually, it fell to the Babylonians. It is known for its military-minded warrior kings; its polytheistic religion, which included worship of nature and objects; its siege warfare techniques; its well-organized infrastructure that included roads and aqueducts; and its effective governance over conquered lands. Under some particularly harsh rulers, Assyrians burned and wrecked the towns they captured and murdered many inhabitants in order to instill fear.
Ashurbanipal: The last great ruler of the Assyrian Empire, who ruled in the 600s BCE. He is known for building the great library at Nineveh after ordering historical and scientific works to be written down; for creating impressive palace gardens featuring plants from all over the world; and for conquering Babylon for a time.
The Babylonian Empire: The ancient Mesopotamian empire that lasted from about 1900 BCE to about 500 BCE and that dominated southern Mesopotamia. It was named after one of its prominent cities, Babylon. It co-existed with its northern rival, the Assyrian Empire, with each empire enjoying periods of dominance. It is known for its unique code of law; its invention of a math system that used base 60 for time and degrees of a circle; its stable, efficient rule; and its well-disciplined armies.
Hammurabi: The ruler who, in the 1700s BCE, first unified and led the Babylonian Empire, and who is known for creating a fair and historically influential justice system
The Code of Hammurabi: The set of laws created by Hammurabi and the longest, most complete legal text of the ancient world. It is known for their fairness; their widespread historical influence; and their effectiveness in strengthening the Babylonian Empire and encouraging internal peace. It famously includes the phrase “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,” which is quoted in the Old Testament.
The Hittites: The ancient people who inhabited a collection of city-states in modern-day Turkey from around 1600 BCE to the 1100s BCE. They are known for being the first people to smelt iron; for their warlike culture; for their invention of the chariot; for their boulder sculptures; for their 1000 gods; and for introducing the horse to the Middle East.
The Phoenicians: The ancient people who inhabited a collection of city-states on the east end of the Mediterranean Sea in modern-day Lebanon from approximately 1550 to 300 BCE. They are known for creating the first known alphabet, which later became the basis for Greek and Roman alphabets; for being the greatest seafarers of ancient times; for making a highly prized purple dye from snails; for advancing the art of glass making; for maintaining internal peace; for colonizing Carthage in Egypt; for culturally influencing Greece; and for prospering through extensive trade with India and China. They fell in 300 BCE to the Persians.
The Hebrews/Jews/Israelites: The ancient Semitic people who settled Canaan (modern-day Israel and Palestine) around 1900 BCE and whose story is told in the Old Testament. After migrating from Mesopotamia, possibly from the city of Ur, then possibly spending time in modern-day Turkey, they fled to Egypt during a famine. There, they eventually became enslaved and had to escape to Canaan. In Canaan, their twelve tribes settled and established a unique identity. They fought the Palestinians (whom they called the Philistines) and other groups for territory and conquered Jericho, Jerusalem and other areas. Later, they established the Kingdom of Israel and Jerusalem became its capital. They are known for their monotheism; their individualism; their strong cultural identity and resistance to assimilation, which kept them united in spite of multiple exiles and separations; and their belief that negative occurrences result from sin, not from the whim of the gods.
Abraham: The father of the Jewish people, who lived in the 1900s BCE and whose story is told in the Old Testament. According to that account, he was the father of Isaac, who was the father of Jacob, who was the father of the twelve sons who became the heads of the twelve tribes of Israel.
The Twelve Tribes of Israel: The twelve ancestral tribes of the Jewish people, all of whom descended from Jacob. Each tribe had its own territory and identity and played a specific role in the social and religious life of ancient Israel. The tribes were led by various judges before uniting under kings as the Kingdom of Israel. Later, the kingdom split into two separate entities: the northern Kingdom of Israel and the southern Kingdom of Judah. This weakened them politically and militarily, and led to the exile of many Jews in the 700s BCE by Assyria after Assyria conquered Israel, and the exile of many more in the 500s BCE by Babylon after Babylon conquered Israel. These events were known as the Assyrian Captivity and the Babylonian Captivity, and were the first of many diaspora events experienced by the Jewish people.
The Jewish diaspora: The scattering of the Jewish people from their homeland of Israel to other parts of the world. It started during the Assyrian captivity, and during the centuries to follow, Jews have migrated to many other countries while attempting to maintain their unique identity.
Moses: The Jewish leader and prophet who lived around the 1300s BCE and whose story is told in the Old Testament. According to that account, he is known for leading the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt; receiving the Ten Commandments from God on Mount Sinai; and receiving the Torah, the first five books of the Hebrew Bible.
The Ark of the Covenant: The legendary gold-covered wooden chest that, according to the Old Testament, held the stone manuscript on which Moses’ Ten Commandments were written. It was held in the temple at Jerusalem for many years, then was lost, possibly during a battle with the Palestinians.
Saul: The first king of the Kingdom of Israel, who ruled during the 1000s BCE. He was chosen by God after the people of Israel demanded to replace their judge leaders with kings, like other nations had. He is known for starting out as a successful and popular leader, then later disobeying God and falling from grace as well as for his persecution of David.
David: The second king of the Kingdom of Israel, who ruled in the late 900s BCE. He was from the tribe of Judah and is known for his military victories; for his justice, faith and mercy; for his musicianship; for his authorship of the Biblical book of Psalms; and for establishing Jerusalem as the political and religious capital of Israel.
Solomon: The third third king of the Kingdom of Israel, who ruled during the 900s BCE. The son of King David and Bathsheba, he is known for his wisdom; his wealth; his extensive building projects, including the construction of the First Temple in Jerusalem and his own palace; and his marriages to foreign princesses, which led to the introduction of foreign gods into Israel.
Jerusalem: The city in modern-day Israel that was established around 3000 BCE, then was conquered by the Jews and became the capital of the Kingdom of Israel around 1000 BCE under King Solomon. It is known for being one of the oldest cities in the world; for its significance to three major religions: Judaism, Christianity and Islam; for being the site of the Temple Mount, the location of the First and Second Temples and the Al-Aqsa Mosque; for being the site of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, one of the most important Christian sites in the world; and for its capture and attempted recapture during the Crusades.
The Babylonian captivity: The approximately 70-year period during which many Hebrews from the Kingdom of Judah were enslaved by the Babylonians in the late 500s BCE. In part, this happened because after Solomon’s death, Israel split into two kingdoms and were weakened. The captivity came to an end when the Persian Empire, led by King Cyrus the Great, conquered Babylon and issued a decree allowing the exiled Judahites to return to their homeland and rebuild the Temple in Jerusalem.
Nebuchadnezzar II: A king of Babylon during the 500s BCE who is known for helping Babylon regain independence from Assyria, starting a period of their history known as Babylon Revived; for extending Babylonian territory significantly; for capturing Jerusalem and destroying it as well as the Temple of Jerusalem, and forcing the Jews to exile; for beautifying Babylon by building and restoring numerous temples and palaces and possibly creating the Hanging Gardens of Babylon; for extending trade networks; and for, later in his life, possibly going mad.
The Persian Empire: The ancient Mesopotamian empire that existed in modern-day Iran, Afghanistan and beyond from the 500s BCE to the 300s BCE. It is known for its vast size; its military prowess; its cultural diversity and religious tolerance; its contributions to art and literature; its advanced road and postal systems; its centralized bureaucracy; and its peaceful incorporation of other conquered territories. It fell to Alexander the Great in the 300s.
Cyrus the Great: The founder of the Persian Empire, who ruled from 550 BCE to 530 BCE, and who is known for his military conquests; for his political acumen; for his religious tolerance (he freed the Jews out of captivity in Babylon); and for creating the Cyrus Cylinder
The Cyrus Cylinder: An ancient clay artifact that was written in Babylonian cuneiform in the 500s BCE and discovered in the 1800s CE and is considered the world’s first written declaration of human rights. It describes Cyrus the Great’s policy of religious tolerance as well as his restoration of temples and release of captive peoples.
Darius the Great: An important king of the Persian Empire during the time of ancient Greece. He is known for expanding the Persian Empire; for adopting Zoroastrianism, which might have later influenced Christianity; for building an extensive road network throughout the empire; and for introducing a standard coinage.
Xerxes the Great: The son of Darius the Great and the king of the Persian Empire in the 400s BCE who fought the Persian Wars against the Greeks. A skillful general, he is known for losing two key battles against the Greeks: the Battle of Thermopylae, which took place on a mountain pass and was fought against only 300 Spartan soldiers, and the Battle of Salamis, a naval engagement.
Arabs: An ethnic group originating in the Middle East that speaks Arabic
The Middle Ages (500 CE to 1500 CE)
The Islamic Empire: The succession of various Islamic caliphates (governments led by caliphs) that ruled in the Middle East after the death of Muhammad in the 600s. It is known for rapidly expanding to eventually encompass the Arabian Peninsula, North Africa, Persia and parts of Europe and Asia, as well as for bringing an Islamic golden age.
The Abbasid Dynasty: The dynasty that led the Islamic Empire from the 700s CE to the 1200s CE, bringing a golden age to the area. It is known for its unity and stability; its flourishing capital at Baghdad, whose court is the setting for much of the classic story The Thousand and One Nights; its advances in chemistry and astronomy; and for the invention of algebra at this time.
The Mongol invasion: The successful overthrow of the Abbasids and Turks by the Mongol Empire led by Genghis Khan in the 1200s CE. Their power in the area did not last, however.
The Crusades: A series of religious battles fought between Christians and Muslims from around 1100 CE to the 1200s CE. Initiated by Christians, the primary goal was to recapture the Holy Land, particularly Jerusalem, which was under Muslim control, and to defend Christian pilgrims who made the journey to the region. The battles took place over a period of two centuries, involving many of the most powerful states and armies of Europe at the time. The Roman Catholic Pope initially called for the attacks. The Crusades were unsuccessful, ill-conceived and disastrous for all involved.
The Seljuk Turks: The Turkic people whose civilization was located in modern-day Iran and beyond from about the 1000s CE to the 1200s CE. They are known for their military prowess; for influencing the cultural and political development of the Islamic world; and for successfully defending their land against the Crusaders.
Early Modern Times (1500 CE to 1900 CE)
Safavid Empire: The empire that ruled Persia and beyond from the early 1500s to the 1700s. It is known for successfully resisting Ottoman takeover; for being one of the greatest Iranian empires; for establishing Islam as the official religion of the empire; for modernizing the area; and for increasing the area’s economic power and global status by increasing governmental efficiency, architectural innovations and fine arts.
The Ottoman Empire: The empire that encompassed most of the Middle East from the 1200s to the early 1900s, with its peak power in the 1600s. Vast and wealthy, it united the whole region under one ruler for the first time since the Abbasid Empire. It is known for its impressive military strength; its complex hierarchical administrative system led by a sultan; its cultural achievements, including in architecture, literature, and music; its extensive trade with the West; its control of important trade routes; and its retaking of Constantinople from the Byzantine empire. It sided with the Central Powers in World War I, which led to its fall and the redrawing of the map of the Middle East by the Allied victors.
Suleymon the Magnificent: The most successful sultan of the Ottoman Empire, who reigned in the 1500s. He is known for expanding the empire to its greatest size and power, conquering much of Europe, the Balkans, and the Middle East; for encouraging the arts; for building many impressive structures, including the Suleymaniye Mosque in Istanbul; and for reforming legal and administrative systems, which helped modernize the Ottoman state.
The Modern Era (1900 CE to the Present)
The State of Israel: The Jewish state founded in 1948, partly to unite displaced Jews after the Holocaust and return their historical homeland. This resulted in frequent civil war between the Jews and Palestinians in the area.
OPEC: A coalition founded in 1960 with the goal of overseeing and controlling petroleum prices and policies of its member countries, who are mostly located in the Middle East. In the early 1900s, large oil reserves were discovered in the Middle East, which led to growing power in the area. It also led to attempts by European countries to control these areas and to set economic regulations there.
The Suez Crisis: The conflict that took place in the 1950s between Egypt and the UK, France, and Israel over control of the Suez Canal. After Egypt nationalized the canal, Israel, the UK and France attempted to seize it, but the United Nations intervened to prevent it.
Saddam Hussein: The president and dictator of Iraq during the 1970s, 80s ad 90s who is known for his aggressive foreign policies, his authoritarian rule, his human rights abuses, and his suppression of political opposition. In the early 2000s, a U.S.-led coalition invaded Iraq and toppled Saddam Hussein’s regime, leading to his capture and subsequent execution.
The 1970s oil embargo: An oil embargo by Arab oil-producing countries, which occurred as a protest of countries that supported Israel in the Yom Kippur War, a war against Israel by several Arab countries. It caused a significant increase in oil prices and economic disruption.
The Iranian Revolution: The overthrow of the Iranian shah in the late 1970s, which led to the creation of an Islamic republic and increased political and religious extremism in Iran
The Iran-Iraq war: The long, drawn-out war that took place in the 1980s between Iran and Iraq after Saddam Hussein invaded Iran over disputed border territories. It resulted in a stalemate and ceasefire and Iran retained its lands.
The Gulf War: The war against Iraq in the 1990s by a international military coalition led by the U.S. It was a response to Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait, which resulted in the devastation of Kuwait including the burning of their oil fields. It resulted in the liberation of Kuwait and a ceasefire. Afterwards, the UN established a system of inspections and disarmament measures to prevent Iraq from developing or possessing weapons of mass destruction.
Osama bin Laden: The founder and leader of Al-Qaeda, an extremist Islamist militant group responsible for several high-profile attacks against the United States, including the September 11th attacks in 2001. He died during a U.S. military raid in 2011.
Al-Qaida: An extremist Islamist militant group founded by Osama bin Laden in the 1980s. Its goals are to drive Western influence and military presence out of Muslim countries and to establish a global Islamic caliphate. It is known for several terrorist attacks, including the September 11th attacks on the U.S., which killed nearly 3,000 people.
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict: The ongoing dispute between the state of Israel, a Jewish nation, and the Palestinians, a Muslim Arab ethnic group, over land, borders and the right of self-rule. It started with the rise of Zionism in the early 1900s and the subsequent creation of the state of Israel. Since then, the groups have fought many holy wars, some of which have included many other countries on both sides. Historically, the U.S. has supported Israel, partly for reasons of religion and tradition and partly due to economic and strategic reasons.
It’s been many, many years since John Gottman started bossing around the world of marriage counseling, and guess what? He’s still bossing it. As far as I can tell, no one’s ideas or research have influenced couples counseling practices more than those of this psychologist and researcher from way back.
There are some drawbacks to reading Gottman, though. To me, Gottman’s many books are highly repetitive in nature and lack a sophisticated edit. Clearly, Gottman is a researcher first and a writer second, but that’s okay. That’s why we have book summaries.
The Takeaways
Four bad communication habits are responsible for much of the world’s communication-related distress: criticism, contempt, stonewalling/withdrawal; and defensiveness. Anger and arguments are not likely to become a serious problem in a relationship if they are not accompanied by one of these behaviors. (That’s good news!)
Criticism is a form of complaint that points to a person’s attributes as the source of a problem rather than pointing to their behavior. Replace a person-focused criticism with a problem-focused complaint, Gottman recommends. Note that “I” statements are usually complaints and “you” statements are usually attacks/criticisms (though not always).
Use a “soft startup” to a disagreement by beginning with a complaint rather than a criticism.
Contempt is the worst of what Gottman calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. In his research he found that the presence of this habit is most predictive of divorce. Replace mean-spirited contempt or condescension such as eye-rolling with compliments and nonverbal signs of respect.
Stonewalling sometimes occurs due to emotional flooding–a physical and psychological response to emotional stress. To effectively handle emotional flooding, take a break, then return to the discussion once your emotions have stabilized.
Defensiveness is one of the most common, if not the most common, communication difficulty. When someone is defensive, they are more likely to interpret others’ comments and actions as threats and respond with resistance, anger, or aggression. This type of response can escalate conflicts, create barriers to effective communication, and damage relationships. Additionally, being defensive often leads to a lack of self-awareness and a failure to see one’s own role in conflicts. This can prevent individuals from learning and growing and can result in repeated patterns of negative behavior. Replace defensiveness by discussing one topic at a time, not responding to personal attacks, and listening with open-mindedness and assumptions of good intention.
“Negative sentiment override” occurs when one or both partners assume the worst of the other person (negative intentions, etc.). This is another problem to avoid whenever possible, as it causes defensiveness.
There are three types of communication styles: conflict-avoiding, validating, and volatile. Conflict-avoiders argue infrequently and opt to agree to disagree while focusing on the positive aspects of a situation. Validators prioritize compromise and approach conflicts calmly and objectively. They are known for their kindness but may lack honesty and independence. Volatile couples are prone to frequent and passionate arguments, but also enjoy making up in similar fashion. They are candid and honest, but prone to being easily upset.
When both partners the same style, any style can be healthy.
Gottman believes that one of the most effective ways to improve marriages is to simply increase positive affect and decrease negative affect in both verbal and nonverbal ways. Even small gestures like looking up from your phone, smiling and physically turning toward your partner can make a significant difference.
For a relationship to be healthy, the ratio of positive to negative interactions should be at least 5:1. If negative interactions outweigh positive ones, the relationship is likely in trouble.
The failure to acknowledge repair attempts is the central predictor of divorce. As much as possible, turn toward your partner instead of turning away.
Recognize that some issues may be unsolvable at present, as 69% of conflicts often go unresolved.
Focus on creating a sense of understanding and connection by showing interest in each other’s lives and sharing personal dreams, with a commitment to supporting one another.
Establish a shared sense of meaning and purpose.
Whenever possible, de-escalate arguments through agreement and validation.
Practice good listening skills by doing the “speaker-listener exercise.” This involves one person (the speaker) expressing their thoughts and feelings about a specific issue, while the other person (the listener) focuses on understanding and validating the speaker’s perspective. The listener summarizes and reflects back what they have heard, avoiding interruptions and making the speaker feel heard and understood. The exercise is repeated with the roles reversed, allowing both partners to have a turn at speaking and listening. The goal of the exercise is to build trust, increase understanding, and reduce conflict.
Acknowledge the goal of the conversation: is it to be heard, or is it to solve a problem? Don’t rush to problem solve for or with your partner unless they ask you to.
Gottman Book Selections
Gottman’s most well-known books include:
“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”: This book provides a framework for building a strong and healthy marriage, based on Gottman’s research on what makes relationships successful.
“Why Marriages Succeed or Fail”: This book provides a scientific analysis of what makes marriages work and what causes them to fail.
“And Baby Makes Three”: This book provides advice on how to maintain a strong relationship after having a baby and how to navigate the challenges of parenthood as a couple.
“The Mathematics of Marriage”: This book offers a data-driven approach to improving relationships, and provides practical tools and techniques for building a stronger and more fulfilling partnership.
About the Author
John Gottman is a renowned American psychologist and relationship expert. He is a professor emeritus in psychology at the University of Washington and the co-founder of The Gottman Institute, which provides workshops and resources for couples and mental health professionals. Gottman is the author of numerous books on relationships and his research has been featured in many media outlets.
Mollie:
Tell me about your experience with minimalism.
Bernadette Joy: I’ve been in the process of decluttering and reorganizing my home as part of my journey to become debt-free. My husband and I paid off $300,000 of debt, including debt from student loans and two mortgages, in three years. Adopting a minimalist mindset was a big part of our change.
At first, I decided to
declutter just to find things to sell in order to help pay off our
debt. I sold a lot of unneeded housewares, clothing, furniture, etc.
At the first garage sale we made over $400 in four hours and that
encouraged me to want to get rid of more stuff because we weren’t
using any of it and it felt like free money!
Mollie: Tell me more about
your debt repayment experience. How did you manage this feat? What
did you give up?
Bernadette Joy: We started in
January 2016 with about $70,000 in student loans and the rest in
mortgages. It started because I felt overwhelmed with how much debt
we accumulated in less than a two years because essentially, I cared
more about what other people thought about us than about our own
well-being. People will like me more if they think I’m smart and have
a nice house, right? I started learning everything I could about
money and debt through podcasts and YouTube. My husband and I started
implementing everything I learned like budgeting and making extra
money through side hustles. The biggest things we had to give up were
time (we worked a lot during that time period), investing for the
first 7 months (we stopped while we paid off the student loans and
then resumed at 15% of our total income, more than what we were
investing before) and large expenses like travel. All of this was
temporary and since we’ve become debt free we’ve resumed all the
conveniences and fun including going to see my favorite K-Pop band
live in concert, buying a car in cash and going to Italy!
Mollie: What are your most
prized beliefs regarding the minimalist lifestyle—the ideas you
most wantto spread?
Bernadette Joy: Minimalism is
not just about stuff. It’s about minimizing anything that causes you
stress, including stress at work, stress in relationships and stress
in your mind. I’ve worked on automating or outsourcing a lot of
things that used to cause me stress (for example, I now have a
regular cleaning service that helps me keep tidy instead of agonizing
over not doing it myself). I also believe that you don’t have to
adopt a poor or no-fun lifestyle that I think people confuse with
minimalism. I minimize material things like clothing and unnecessary
house stuff to make room and finances available for things like going
to concerts and on vacations.
Mollie: Can you share a few specific tips for
organizing and simplifying?
Bernadette Joy: Find things you aren’t using and
sell them! Garage sales worked great for me in the area I’m in, but I
also sold a lot of housewares on Facebook. It’s a great way to
encourage you if you’re like me and feel guilty about what you spent;
at least you make some money back and use the money towards something
you really want.
Work on one room at a time only. Don’t move onto
the next room until you complete the previous. Start where you spend
the most of your time because you will get the most benefit out of
it. I started in my kitchen and in my bedroom. I immediately felt
relief getting rid of so many kitchen items that were just cluttering
up our space.
I’m a big fan of the minimalist
challenge: get rid of one thing on the
first day, two things on the second day,
etc. for a month. I have
committed to it at least once a year, sometimes multiple
times a year. I like crossing things off my list and challenges in
general and it really got me motivated to
keep it up for a month!
Donate where you can instead of
throwing stuff out. If I can’t find local
charities, I just post things for free on Facebook or Craigslist.
Everything I’ve put out, someone has picked up, so at least I know
(or hope) they are being reused!
Mollie: Any final thoughts
on minimalism?
Bernadette Joy: For me, a minimalist mindset has not deprived me of anything I wanted. In fact, it’s created more room for things I absolutely love in life and focused more on experiences than accumulating stuff. It’s also always a work-in-progress. One might come to my house and not think it’s minimalist because we own more than a few dishes or towels. But I can confidently say everything I own right now is on purpose and has a purpose, and that is peace of mind that I’m so grateful for.
Sometimes, inner strength feels like a moving target: you have it, then you don’t, then you do again. Here, stories from people who, more often than not, have it figured out, sharing their absolute best techniques and advice.
Mollie:
What was the most cluttered home you worked in like? How did the
process of organizing affect your client?
Ben: We have seen everything
from estates to apartments, but the only clutter difference is the
volume. In some cases, no room is being used for its intended
purpose:
the cars can’t go in the
garage, the home office isn’t being used for work, the dining room
isn’t hosting anyone. When you add to that situation not being able
to find what you are looking for and having to do multiple purchases,
this puts a lot of stress on relationships between family members.
The children feel they can’t have friends over and the adults don’t
entertain. This creates a feeling of being trapped.
Organizing takes time. Busy
people usually just start putting everything in the attic or
basement. After that they hide everything in bins and drawers, but
eventually those areas fill up, too. This isn’t organization. Being
organized is different from being neat or tidy.
Mollie: What circumstances
led to your passion for simple living?
Ben: Growing up as a
child of a difficult divorce, having control
became pretty important to me. People have
anxiety when they are not in control and in life there is a lot we
cannot control; however, we can control our physical space. My belief
is that nothing good comes out of chaos
and being a minimalist and having organized
systems allows me to be more productive. I see this with my own
children: when their room is a mess they simply don’t play in it, but
when the floor is clear they actually
build things, use their toys and imagination.
Also, as a child I always liked
jigsaw puzzles. There’s something about putting
a giant mess together into something complete that calms
the mind.
When I was young the desire for
stuff seemed pretty cool but getting married and having children
focuses you on experiences. A kid is excited by the new toy but she
is also just as excited by the box it came in, and after a few hours
it just goes on the pile with the other unused toys. The older you
get you realize that happiness comes from within, that buying
stuff doesn’t solve your problems or actually make you happy. Having
experiences with friends and family leads to great memories and at
the end of the day, all we have are our memories.
Mollie: What are the common
mistakes your clients make when it comes to managing their home
environment?
Ben: For a lot of people, the
act of shopping or the thrill of getting a bargain is the real juice
and getting the thing is more important than the actual thing. Also,
in our clients’ homes we see items unused
and crammed into closets and after reviewing we discover they are
gifts the receiver didn’t want, doesn’t
like and doesn’t know what to do with.
Most people give gifts to make
themselves, not the person getting it, feel better. If someone took
the time to give something wanted it would be experiences or
consumables; a night of free babysitting
is worth more than two hundreditems
from the Christmas Tree Shops or the Dollar Store.
Mollie: Any additionaltips for simplifying thehome?
Ben: If you’re a parent,
you are the gatekeeper. When your kids are
a certain age, they may get up to thirty or forty gifts
for their birthdays and holidays. You know how your children play and
what they like and steering people to give
swimming lessons or tickets to the movies will save everyone in the
end.
Another suggestions to cutting
down on accumulating because of retail therapy is to pay cash for it.
If you really want it, take the time to get cash out. You can also
print the page out from Ebay or Amazon and wait a week. If you really
still want it, then get it. My economics professor used to
say, “More is preferred to less,” but the stress of clutter hurts
relationships and your free time and
creates anxiety.
Mollie: One final thought?
Ben: Good things aren’t cheap and cheap things aren’t good. Well-made items that you can depend on are more important than quantity.
Obviously, math knowledge is more than just knowledge. The trick to this subject is in the application. Since this isn’t a how-to book, but a terminology-based review, further math study will be important. Use this list like a checklist, noting what you’ve already learned in school and elsewhere. Any areas that were skipped can be learned on your own, either by using a user-friendly book like Everything You Need to Ace Math in One Big Fat Notebook by Workman Publishing or by taking advantage of the wonders of YouTube.
ESSENTIAL SKILLS: ARITHMETIC AND MEASUREMENT
How to add and subtract large numbers without using a calculator or writing instruments: Break the numbers into ones, tens and hundreds. For example, 72 + 83 becomes 70 + 80, then 2 + 3, then 150 + 5.
How to round numbers up or down: The two main rules that apply when rounding numbers to the nearest ones, fives, tens, hundreds, etc. are: 1. Round the number up if it is past the halfway point and down if it is less than the halfway point; and 2. Round numbers that are at the halfway point up, not down. For example, 56 rounded to the nearest multiple of 10 is 60, and 55 is also 60.
Adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing
Memorizing the times tables up to 12
Recognizing common shapes
Solving basic story problems
Using a calculator
Using a ruler and drawing compass
Calculating map distances
Deciphering information on line graphs, bar graphs, circle graphs, tables and Venn diagrams
Adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing fractions, decimals and positive and negative numbers
ESSENTIAL SKILLS: ALGEBRA
Using algebraic symbols
Solving for variables
Solving and graphing inequalities
Calculating ratios, rates, percentages and proportions (as when finding taxes, discounts, markups, gratuities, commissions, simple interest, the percent rate of change, exponential growth and more)
Finding prime numbers and square roots
Solving quadratic equations
Working with radicals
Comparing functions
ESSENTIAL SKILLS: GEOMETRY
Formula for calculating the area of squares and rectangles: Multiply height by width: hxw. Note that some areas can be divided into multiple squares and rectangles and the results can be added together to find the total area.
Formula for calculating square footage: Use the same formula as for finding the area of a square, using feet as the measurement: hxw
Formula for calculating the area of a triangle: Multiple the height by the width, then divide by two: (h x w)/2
Formula for calculating diameter: Multiply the radius by two: d = 2r
Formula for calculating perimeter: Add length and width, then multiply this by two: 2(l + w)
Formula for calculating the volume of a cube or rectangle-based shape: Multiply width, length and height: l x w x h
Formula for calculating the volume of a sphere: Cube the radius, then use this formula: 4/3 × π × R3
Formula for calculating the volume of a prism or cylinder: Find the area of the end shape, then multiply by its depth
Formula for calculating the volume of a cone or pyramid: Calculate the volume of the base as if the base were a square, then divide by 3.
Calculating scale
Measuring angles
Calculating arc length
Graphing lines and slopes
Working with coordinate planes
Proving simple geometric theorems
Making geometric constructions based on a given set of numbers
Kelly Rupiper is Content Director at Upparent, a recommendation-sharing website for parents. She is also the mother of two elementary school-aged kids. See Upparent.com.Here is the interview we did for my book, The Naked House: Five Principles for a Minimalist Home.
Mollie:
Have you ever significantly reorganized and decluttered your home?
What led to the decision and what did you change?
Kelly:
Parenthood brings with it a lot of stuff. When my kids were a newborn
and a toddler, we moved from a small condo into a larger home and it
felt like the floodgates for accumulating toys, clothes, and gear
were opened. It was easy to add more and more stuff now that we had
the room, and though I don’t think we had gone overboard by common
standards, eventually I started feeling like we
were spending too much time putting away toys, sorting through piles
of clothes, and generally cleaning up. The
effort that we were putting into taking care of all of these things
was more than the happiness we were getting out of having them. This
was around the time that people started talking more about a
minimalist lifestyle, and the idea of letting go of the clutter
seemed freeing to me. I spent the better part of a year combing
through our home and putting together donations, selling items on
Facebook, and handing things down to family members. A few years
later we embarked on a cross-country move, and this was a great
opportunity to think critically about what really needed to come with
us and pare down some more.
Mollie:
What are your most prized beliefs regarding minimalist lifestyle—the
ideas you most want to spread?
Kelly:
A minimalist lifestyle isn’t just
about owning as little as possible or going without. It’s about
limiting yourself to the things that are important, special, and
useful to you, and getting to enjoy these things every day because
you’re not weighed down by needing to weed through and maintain all
of the fluff.
It’s
also not just about physical belongings.
Think about taking a more minimal approach to the way you schedule
your family’s time and attention, too.
Take a hard look at all of the after-school activities and
obligations on your calendar, and think about how it would feel to
spend less time driving around and more time at home as a family.
Mollie:
Tell me more about the benefits of minimizing one’s schedule.
Kelly:
Aside from keeping more money in the bank and enjoying more family
time together, I have found that minimizing the number of activities
that kids have on their plates helps to keep them from getting burned
out. My kids tend to get overwhelmed when the schedule gets to the
point where we’re running from one activity to the next, and
lessening their load means they can actually look forward to the
things they’ve signed up for.
Mollie:
Why do you think people have a hard time being at home with no
planned activity?
Kelly:
There’s an instinct to feel like we have to entertain our kids, and
the choruses of “I’m bored!” don’t help. But when kids
aren’t overwhelmed by a playroom stuffed with endless choices and
instead have a small collection of toys that inspire open-ended play,
it’s pretty amazing to see how well they can entertain themselves and
each other without parental intervention.
Mollie:
How can people learn to embrace unplanned family time?
Kelly:
Simple, low-key family traditions
can be a great way to give some structure to your family time without
introducing outside obligations.
My family does a weekly Friday night family movie night and we rotate
the person who gets to pick what we watch. The kids look forward to
it all week. We are also reading the Harry Potter series together,
and we sit down to read a chapter most evenings after the kids are
showered and ready for bed. Introducing fun (and often free!)
activities like these gives the family something easy to do together
that they look forward to and creates memories that you’ll be able to
enjoy for years.
Mollie:
Can you share a few specific tips for simplifying a home?
Kelly:
Do what you can to keep excess
things from coming into your house in the first place. Getting your
family on board with this will make it much easier. It’s hard to deny
well-meaning relatives who love to buy gifts for your kids, so give
them ideas that mesh well with minimalism: a museum membership, a
kids cooking class, or one larger-ticket holiday gift (like a
basketball hoop or a streaming service membership) for the whole
family to enjoy together. My kids will often choose a special family
experience like an amusement park trip or theater tickets instead of
a large birthday party with friends and gifts.
Mollie:
Any final thoughts?
Kelly: Minimalism isn’t just about clearing out your house. It’s about changing your mindset, so you’re better-equipped to maintain your new way of life moving forward. Once you discover and embrace how freeing it is to be living without the clutter in your house and on your calendar, it’s easier to be able to say “no” to the pressure we all feel to take on more.
Make no mistake: Self-help reading isn’t just self-help books. Nonfiction of all kinds contributes to a person’s physical, intellectual, emotional, financial, spiritual, and relational well-being. For this reason, I’ve made use of my obsession with all kinds of nonfiction (and love of note-taking) to compile a comprehensive-as-possible recommended reading list for people looking to achieve their own feats of great strength. This list includes books on business, finance, psychology, sociology, history, spirituality and more. For each book listed, I provide a brief content summary, then offer practical takeaways from a self-help lens.
Does your next feat of great strength require research–more than you have time to do? Subscribe to the right for a comprehensive self-improvement self-education, featuring summaries and tips from over 400 works of psychology, sociology, biography, history, anthropology, spirituality, science, memoir, economics, self-help and more.
Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work, Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, Chip and Dan Heath
Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, Martin Seligman
Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being, Martin Seligman
Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, Martin Seligman
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brene Brown
I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power, Brene Brown
Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution., Brene Brown
Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions, Dan Ariely
The Upside of Irrationality: The Unexpected Benefits of Defying Logic at Work and at Home, Dan Ariely
Irrationally Yours: On Missing Socks, Pickup Lines, and Other Existential Puzzles, Dan Ariely
Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, Jordan B. Peterson
This is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike, Augusten Burroughs
The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence, Gavin de Becker
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas Of Depression, Andrew Solomon
Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why, Laurence Gonzales
The Hilarious World of Depression, John Moe
Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression–And the Unexpected Solutions, Hari Johann
Blissology: The Art and Science of Happiness, Andy Baggott
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Joe Dispenza
Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice: A Revolutionary Program to Counter Negative Thoughts and Live Free from Imagined Limitations, Robert Firestone
Depression: How It Happens and How It’s Healed, John Medina
Depression Is Contagious: How the Most Common Mood Disorder Is Spreading Around the World and How to Stop It, Michael Yapko
Dibs: In Search of Self: Personality Development in Play Therapy, Virginia Axline
Don’t Shoot the Dog: The Art of Teaching and Training, Karen Pryor
Dressing Your Truth: Discover your Personal Beauty Profile, Carol Tuttle
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman
Engineering Happiness: A New Approach for Building a Joyful Life, Manel Baucells and Rakesh Sarin
Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty, Jonathan Grayson
Happiness: Lessons from a New Science, Richard Layard
Happiness: The Science Behind Your Smile, Daniel Nettle
Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener
How We Decide, Jonah Lehrer
Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resistence and Finding Joy, Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant
Self-compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Kristin Neff
Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Bessel van der Kolk
The Compass of Pleasure: How Our Brains Make Fatty Foods, Orgasm, Exercise, Marijuana, Generosity, Vodka, Learning, and Gambling Feel So Good, David Linden
The Consuming Instinct: What Juicy Burgers, Ferraris, Pornography and Gift Giving Reveal About Human Nature, Gad Saad
The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love or Sex, David Buss
The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter–And How to Make the Most of Them Now, Meg Jay
The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, Shawn Achor
The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything, Neil Pasricha
The Hidden Brain: How Our Unconscious Minds Elect Presidents, Control Markets, Wage Wars, and Save Our Lives, Shankar Vedantarn
The How of the Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, Sonja Lyubomirsky
The Inner Game of Work: Focus, Learning, Pleasure, and Mobility in the Workplace, W. Timothy Gallway
The Magic of Thinking Big, David Joseph Schwartz
The Mindful Brain: The Neurobiology of Well-Being, Daniel Siegel
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change, Charles Duhigg
The Power of Negative Thinking: An Unconventional Approach to Achieving Positive Results, Bob Knight and Bob Hammel
The Power of Positive Thinking: A Practical Guide to Mastering the Problems of Everyday Living, Norman Vincent Peale
The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse, Gregg Easterbrook
The Science of Happiness: How Our Brains Make Us Happy-and What We Can Do to Get Happier, Stefan Klein and Stephen Lehmann
The Smart But Scattered Guide to Success: How to Use Your Brain’s Executive Skills to Keep Up, Stay Calm, and Get Organized at Work and at Home, Peg Dawson and Richard Guare
The Underachiever’s Manifesto: The Guide to Accomplishing Little and Feeling Great, Ray Bennett
Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill
Tinker Dabble Doodle Try Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind, Srinivasan S. Pillay
Unchain Your Brain: 10 Steps to Breaking the Addictions That Steal Your Life, Daniel Amen and David Smith
What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite, David DiSalvo
Why We Feel: The Science of Human Emotion, Victor Johnston
You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You’re Deluding Yourself, David McRaney
You Need Help!: A Step-by-Step Plan to Convince a Loved One to Get Counseling, Mark Komrad and Rosalynn Carter
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed, Lori Gottlieb Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life, Christie Tate
No Contest: The Case Against Competition, Alfie Kohn
The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing, Alfie Kohn
Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes, Alfie Kohn
In Their Own Way: Discovering and Encouraging Your Child’s Multiple Intelligences, Thomas Armstrong
Seven Kinds of Smart: Identifying and Developing Your Multiple Intelligences, Thomas Armstrong
Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really Learn–And Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek
Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, Howard Gardner
Free-Range Learning: How Homeschooling Changes Everything, Laura Grace Weldon
Talent Is Overrated: What Really Separates World-class Performers From Everybody Else, Geoffrey Colvin
The Mismeasure of Man, Stephen Jay Gould
The Well-Educated Mind: A Guide to the Classical Education You Never Had, Susan Wise Bauer
The Well-trained Mind: A Guide to a Classical Education at Home, Susan Wise Bauer
What Your Kindergartener Needs to Know: Fundamentals of a Good Kindergarten Education, E.D. Hirsch
What Your First Grader Needs to Know: Fundamentals of a Good First-Grade Education, E.D. Hirsch
What Your Second Grader Needs to Know: Fundamentals of a Good Second-Grade Education, E.D. Hirsch
What Your Third Grader Needs to Know: Fundamentals of a Good Third-Grade Education, E.D. Hirsch
What Your Fourth Grader Needs to Know: Fundamentals of a Good Fourth-Grade Education, E.D. Hirsch
What Your Fifth Grader Needs to Know: Fundamentals of a Good Fifth-Grade Education, E.D. Hirsch
What Your Sixth Grader Needs to Know: Fundamentals of a Good Sixth-Grade Education, E.D. Hirsch
Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child, Katie Allison Granju and Betsy Kennedy
Between Parents and Child, Haim G. Ginott
Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five, John Medina
How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen: From Toddlers to Teenagers; Connecting with Your Children at Every Age, H. Norman Wright
If I Have to Tell You One More Time …: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling, Amy McCready
Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder, Richard Louv
Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too, Adele Faber andd Elaine Mazlish
Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right, Jamie Glowacki
Parenting with Dignity: Getting Beyond Crisis Management–A Five-Point Plan for Raising Responsible, Independent Kids, Mac Bledsoe
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility, Foster Cline and Jim Fay
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting, John Gottman and Joan DeClaire
The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two, Barry Sears
The Case for Make-Believe: Saving Play in a Commercialized World, Susan Linn
The Trouble with Perfect: How Parents Can Avoid the Overachievement Trap and Still Raise Successful Children, Elisabeth Guthrie and Kathy Matthews
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind, Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason, Alfie Kohn
Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being A Great Parent Is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think, Bryan Douglas Caplan
The Child Whisperer: The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful and Cooperative Children, Carol Tuttle
Loving What Is: How Four Questions Can Change Your Life, Byron Katie
A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around, Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Book One, Neale Donald Walsch
Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Book Two, Neale Donald Walsch
Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Book Three, Neale Donald Walsch
Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing, Anita Moorjani
Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness, Jon Kabat-Zinn
I Need Your Love–Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead, Byron Katie
Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness, Sharon Salzberg
Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives, Brian Weiss
Meditation Without Gurus: A Guide to the Heart of Practice, Clark Strand
Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life, Thich Nhat Hanh
Living Buddha, Living Christ, Thich Nhat Hanh
Stealing Jesus: How Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity, Bruce Bawer
The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery, Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz
The Quantum Doctor: A Quantum Physicist Explains the Healing Power of Integrative Medicine, Amit Goswami
The Search For Grace: A Documented Case of Murder and Reincarnation, Bruce Goldberg
The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity, William Young
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life, Jon Kabat-Zinn
You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, Joe Dispenza
How God Changes your Brain: Breakthrough Findings From A Leading Neuroscientist, Andrew Newberg
Life After Life: The Investigation of a Phenomenon–Survival of Bodily Death, Raymond A. Moody, Jr.
Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d, Candace Pert
Molecules of Emotion: Why You Feel the Way You Feel, Candace Pert
Science and the Near-Death Experience: How Consciousness Survives Death, Chris Carter
Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms, David Kessler
The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness, Pema Chodron
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chodron
Ignore Everybody and 39 Other Keys to Creativity, Hugh MacLeod
Aspects of the Novel, E.M. Forster
A Whack On the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative, Roger von Oech
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Anne Lamott
Don’t Make Me Think!: A Common Sense Approach to Web Usability, Steve Krug
Good Prose: The Art of Nonfiction, Tracy Kidder and Richard Todd
Hey, Whipple, Squeeze This: A Guide to Creating Great Ads, Luke Sullivan
Hooked: Write Fiction That Grabs Readers at Page One and Never Lets Them Go, Leslie Edgerton How Fiction Works, James Wood
How to Be Funny: The One and Only Practical Guide for Every Occasion, Situation, and Disaster (No Kidding), Jon Macks
Manuscript Makeover: Revision Techniques No Fiction Writer Can Afford to Ignore, Elizabeth Lyon On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, Steven King
Plot and Structure: Techniques and Exercises for Crafting a Plot That Grips Readers from Start to Finish, James Scott Bell
Save the Cat!: The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need, Blake Snyder
Save the Cat! Goes to the Movies: The Screenwriter’s Guide to Every Story Ever Told, Blake Snyder
Sick in the Head: Conversations about Life and Comedy, Judd Apatow
Spunk and Bite: A Writer’s Guide to Punchier, More Engaging Language and Style, Arthur Plotnik
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, Lester Kaufman and Jane Straus
The Elements of Style, William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White
The Fire in Fiction: Passion, Purpose, and Techniques to Make Your Novel Great, Donald Maass
The Non-Designer’s Design Book, Robin Williams
The Plot Whisperer: Secrets of Story Structure Any Writer Can Master, Martha Alderson
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battle, Steven Pressfield
The Well-Fed Writer: Financial Self-Sufficiency as a Commercial Freelancer in Six Months or Less, Peter Bowerman
The Writer’s Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers, Christopher Vogler
Writing Irresistible Kidlit: The Ultimate Guide to Crafting Fiction for Young Adult and Middle Grade Readers, Mary Cole
Writing the Breakout Novel: Insider Advice for Taking Your Fiction to the Next Level, Donald Maas
Your Life Is A Book: How to Craft and Publish Your Memoir, Brenda Peterson and Sarah Jane Freymann
Memoir
When Breath Becomes Air, Paul Kalanithi
Educated: A Memoir, Tara Westover
Go Ask Alice, Anonymous
A Stolen Life: A Memoir, Jaycee Dugard
A House in the Sky, Amanda Lindhout and Sara Corbett
Into the Wild, John Krakauer
Untamed, Glennon Doyle
Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis
The Cross and the Switchblade, David Wilkerson
A Severe Mercy, Sheldon Vanauken
A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis
Classic Nonfiction
The Holy Bible The writings of Buddha (500s–300s BCE) The Analects, Confucius (500s BCE) Tao Te Ching, Lao Tze (500s BCE) The Art of War, Sun Tzu (500s BCE) The Magna Carta (1200s) The Declaration of Independence (1700s) The Constitution of the United States (1700s) The Bill of Rights (1700s) The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano, Olaudah Equiano (1700s) Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, Thomas de Quincey (1800s) The Gettysburg Address (1800s) Narrative of Sojourner Truth, Sojourner Truth (1800s) Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Harriet Beecher Stowe (1800s) Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, Harriet Jacobs (1800s) Walden, Henry David Thoreau (1800s) Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave, Frederick Douglass (1800s) The Souls of Black Folks, W. E. B. DuBois (1900s) Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man, James Weldon Johnson (1900s) I Have a Dream, Martin Luther King, Jr. (1900s) The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank (1900s) The Story of My Life, Helen Keller (1900s) Roots, Alex Haley (1900s) Autobiography of Malcom X, Malcom X (1900s) The Jungle, Upton Sinclair (1900s) Black Boy, Richard Wright (1900s) Native Son, Richard Wright (1900s) Black Like Me, John Howard Griffin (1900s) The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom (1900s) A Brief History of Time, Stephen Hawking (1900s) The Meaning of It All, Richard Feynman (1900s)
Advanced Classic Nonfiction
The Histories, Herodotus (400s BCE) The Republic, Plato (400s BCE) History of the Peloponnesian War, Thucydides (400s BCE) Rhetoric, Aristotle (300s BCE) Apology, Plato (300s BCE) Nichomachean Ethics, Aristotle (300s BCE) On the Nature of Things, Lucretius (60s BCE) De Republica, Cicero (50s BCE) The Early History of Rome, Livy (20s BCE) Wars of the Jews, Josephus (70s CE) Annals, Tacitus (100s CE) The Twelve Caesars, Suetonius (100s CE) Anabasis of Alexander, Arrian (100s CE) Meditations, Marcus Aurelius (100s CE) Lives of Noble Greeks and Romans, Plutarch (100s CE) Enchiridion, Epictetus (100s CE) The Confessions, Saint Augustine (300s) The City of God, St. Augustine (400s) The Consolation of Philosophy, Boethius (500s) The Quran (600s) The Ecclesiastical History, Adam Bede (700s) The Letters of Abelard and Heloise, Peter and Heolise Abelard (1100s) Summa Theologiae, Thomas Aquinas (1200s) The Imitation of Christ, Thomas a Kempis (1400s) In Praise of Folly, Erasmus (1500s) The Education of a Christian Prince, Erasmus (1500s) The Freedom of a Christian, Martin Luther (1500s) Institutes of the Christian Religion, John Calvin (1500s) History of the Reformation, John Knox (1500s) The Life of Saint Teresa of Avila, Teresa of Avila (1500s) The Interior Castle, St. Teresa of Avila (1500s) Dark Night of the Soul, St. John of the Cross (1500s) The Defense of Poesy, Sir Philip Sidney (1500s) Novum Organum, Frances Bacon (1600s) The Leviathan, Thomas Hobbes (1600s) Meditations on First Philosophy, Rene Descartes (1600s) Discourse on Method, Rene Descartes (1600s) Essay Concerning Human Understanding, John Locke (1600s) The Second Treatise of Government, John Locke (1600s) The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Samuel Pepys (1600s) Wonders of the Invisible World, Cotton Mather (1600s) An Essay on Criticism, Alexander Pope (1700s) An Essay on Man, Alexander Pope (1700s) The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Benjamin Franklin (1700s) The Rights of Man, Thomas Paine (1700s) Common Sense, Thomas Paine (1700s) On Liberty, John Stuart Mill (1800s) The Social Contract, Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1700s) The Journal of John Woolman, John Woolman (1700s) The Wealth of Nations, Adam Smith (1700s) A Critique of Pure Reason, Immanuel Kant (1700s) On American Taxation, Edmund Burke (1700s) Life of Johnson, James Boswell (1700s) The Federalist Papers, Alexander Hamilton (1700s) Memoir, Correspondence and Misc., Thomas Jefferson (1800s) The Memoirs of Victor Hugo, Victor Hugo (1800s) Democracy in America, Alexis de Tocqueville (1800s) A Child’s History of England, Charles Dickens (1800s) For Self-Examination, Soren Kierkegaard (1800s) On the Origin of the Species by Means of Natural Selection, Charles Darwin (1800s) The Education of Henry Adams, Henry Adams (1800s) Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Frederich Nietzsche (1800s) Beyond Good and Evil, Frederich Nietzsche (1800s) An Autobiography, Annie Besant (1800s) Notes on Nursing, Florence Nightingale (1800s) Mein Kampf, Adolf Hitler (1900s) Civilization and Its Discontents, Sigmund Freud (1900s) The Ego and the Id, Sigmund Freud (1900s) The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud (1900s)
Other Recommended Books
703: How I Lost More Than a Quarter Ton and Gained a Life, Nancy Makin A Backpack, a Bear, and Eight Crates of Vodka: A Memoir, Lev Golinkin A Field Guide to Happiness: What I Learned in Bhutan About Living, Loving, and Waking Up, Linda Leaming Aku-Aku: The Secret of Easter Island, Thor Heyerdahl An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, Elizabeth McCracken Angry Fat Girls/Eating Ice Cream with My Dog, Frances Kuffel A Queer and Pleasant Danger, Kate Bornstein As a Man Thinketh: Classic Wisdom for Proper Thought, Strong Character, and Right Actions, James Allen Running with Scissors: A Memoir, Augusten Burroughs Dry: A Memoir, Augusten Burroughs Lust and Wonder, Augusten Burroughs A Wolf at the Table, Augusten Burroughs Toil and Trouble: A Memoir, Augusten Burroughs Autobiography of A Face, Lucy Grealy A Way of Being, Carl Rogers A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman, Joan Anderson Basic Counseling Techniques: A Beginning Therapist’s Toolkit, Wayne Perry Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist’s Memoir, Irvin Yalom Beyond Order, Jordan B. 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Richards Fit for Life; Not Fat for Life, Harvey Diamond Natural Hygiene, Herbert Shelton The End of Overeating, David A. Kessler The Fasting Cure, Upton Sinclair Why Weight?, Geneen Roth The Philosophy of Fasting; A Message for Sufferers and Sinners, Edward Earle Purinton Autobiography of A Yogi, Paramahansa Yogananda
In case you haven’t noticed, I have a thing for lists. I’ve kept a written record of every significant book I’ve read since high school. I also list my own and my kids’ other achievements and experiences, including places we travel, awards we win and the like. What better way to round out this checklist of facts, skills and resources, then, than providing a place for you to do the same (or to at least get started)? (Don’t forget to include the dates!)
Enjoy all the books. Enjoy all the adventures. Thank you for going on this educational exploration with me.
Books I’ve Read: Children’s and Middle Grade
Books I’ve Read: Young Adult and Adult Fiction
Books I’ve Read: Young Adult and Adult Nonfiction
Poems I’ve Read
Significant Films, Shows and Other Media Presentations I’ve Seen
Places I’ve Traveled
Clubs, Teams and Special Classes I’ve Participated In
Other Notable Achievements and Experiences I’ve Had
Tara Skubella teaches tantra and conducts tantra ceremonies. See nakedearthtantra.com.
Mollie:
Tell
me about your minimalist lifestyle.
Tara: My partner and I are minimalists who live in
a tiny home (a converted fifth-wheel)
nearly off-grid on the side of a mountain. We’ve been here for
three
years and love it. We’ve condensed so much of our lives to make
this our truth. Not only are we tiny house minimalists, but we don’t
have running potable water and heat with wood.
Mollie: What was your decluttering and
simplifying process like?
Tara: My first decluttering process
happened while I was living in a 1400 square
foot house. I donated, gifted or threw away 365 things in my home
that I no longer needed. These items ranged from old cleaning
products and makeup to pairs of earrings to clothing to a piece of
furniture to kitchen supplies and books. It’s amazing how fast you
can rid of items no longer used.
This became a ritual I continue to do about every
other year, even while living in a tiny home. Most of the items I
release these days are small things like pens or pencils, makeup,
notebooks, accessories, old food and clothing items. It feels good to
have a fresh start every now and then.
Releasing
365 things clears the mind and gives us one less object to worry or
think about each day for
a year.
Mollie: What are your most prized beliefs
regarding minimalist lifestyle? What ideas you want to spread?
Tara: Living a minimalist, off-grid, tiny-home
life is extremely important to me. I enjoy being immersed in
Mother
Nature. I depend on snow for water to do my dishes and to boil water
for tea. I depend on dead standing wood to heat our tiny home during
the harsh 9,000-foot winter
months. Living with Mother
Earth
instead of carving space into her creates a wealth of gratitude each
day. Even living the primitive way I do is still very abundant, as
I’ve experienced harsh survival situations in the past. Coming home
to a cozy, safe space warms my heart.
I also believe living with less helps me with my
ADHD. Since my mind is cluttered most of the time, living in a space
with less to clean and to worry about simplifies my life even more.
Living with less is also a mindful life choice and practice.
Consciously choosing what we can live without opens the spirit to
reconnect with intuitive choices about what we truly need in order to
survive. Otherwise,
instead of being more mindful of tasks we look
for an easy way out. Thinking this way sometimes isn’t a big deal;
however, the more we develop an attachment to objects for meeting our
needs, the more we look for answers outside instead of within.
Mollie: Can you share a few very specific tips
for cleaning, organizing and simplifying a home?
Tara:
Yes. First, if you haven’t used something in a
little over a year, you really don’t need it so get rid of it.
Second, if you bring a non-perishable item into the house, release something else as an exchange. For example, if you buy a new pair of socks, donate or gift a pair that has never really fit right. If you receive a fancy new air-vacuumed mug for your birthday, donate the plastic one that doesn’t keep coffee warm as long as your new one.
Also, remember that linens and towels can add up quickly. We only need one to two sets of sheets per bed and one to two bath towels per person. Depending on the family size, three or four kitchen towels is plenty. People often accumulate too many linens because we don’t like to do the laundry. This accumulation also happens with clothing. The more we are able to be mindful with laundry, the less we actually need on hand.
My final tip is to rent a storage unit. Seriously. If you are uncertain about releasing a number of items, rent a storage unit and place those items in it, then see how often you return to use them. For the items you truly need, you’ll be willing to drive to the unit, use it and drive it back. If items stay unused for several months or they aren’t worth the rental fee, then you’ll learn that those unused items aren’t worth the money and effort to keep around.
Haley Gallerani runs The Vegan Abroad, a
website about traveling sustainably and as a vegan. Visit it at
theveganabroadblog.com.
Mollie:
Have you ever significantly minimized your possessions? What led to
the decision and what did you change?
Haley:
I would say that I officially became a minimalist in 2018 when I
moved to Chiang Mai, Thailand. I brought two suitcases with me and
two suitcases back. I knew that I wouldn’t be living in Thailand
forever so I didn’t want to purchase too many things while I was
there. I did have to purchase a few things for my apartment, but it
came furnished so my purchases were minimal.
The
biggest way that I minimized my possessions was with my clothing. I
used to own so many clothing pieces that I hardly ever wore. I now
rotate among
around ten different outfits. My biggest tip for simplifying your
wardrobe is to only purchase neutral
colors. This will allow you to mix and
match more than if you own clothing with different colors and
patterns.
Mollie:
What is your life like now? How often do you travel and for how long?
Do you still take only two suitcases?
Haley:
I have been in the United States for the past few months, but I will
be moving to Europe in January 2020. I am a big believer in slow
travel. That means that I spend a long time in one location before
moving onto the next. Europe is a bit more complicated than Thailand
because of visa issues. I will start in Italy where I will stay for
three months: one month in Rome, one month in Florence, and one month
in Sicily. Then I will be going to Croatia for three months before
finally settling in the Czech Republic where I will get a visa.
I am planning on only bringing one suitcase and a
backpack with me to Europe because I will be moving around so much. I
know that this is going to be even more challenging since Europe has
four different seasons that I need to pack clothes for whereas it was
almost always summer temperatures in Thailand. I am excited about the
challenge, though, and I think that I will grow even more minimalist.
Mollie:
What are your most prized beliefs regarding minimalist lifestyle—the
ideas you most want to spread?
Haley:
My most prized belief regarding a minimalist lifestyle is that there
isn’t a one-size-fits-all for minimalism. I think that you have to
find what brings you joy in life and focus on that. Clothing doesn’t
bring me joy, so that is a very easy area for me to be a minimalist
in. I do love cooking, though, so someone could look at my kitchen
and think that I am not a minimalist, but then look at my closet and
think that I am. Ultimately, I think that minimalism is about
focusing on the things that matter to you, and spending less time
(and money) on the things that don’t. When you find the things that
don’t bring you joy, get rid of them.
Also,
try to find ways to simplify the things that do bring you joy. For
example, I am an avid reader. I only purchased physical books prior
to moving to Thailand. I decided to purchase a Kindle before moving
to Thailand so I could easily purchase books in English while I was
abroad. It ended up being one of the best purchases that I have ever
made because I no longer have the clutter of books anymore, and I can
fit hundreds of books on a very small device.
Mollie:
Any final thoughts?
Haley: Becoming a minimalist can be scary at first as you are getting rid of a bunch of your possessions. The thought of “What if I need this in the future?” may show up. My advice would be to keep the item that you are questioning for six months to a year depending on what the item is. If you haven’t used it in that time then you should probably get rid of it.
Pablo and Beverly Solomon have been minimalist designers for over forty years. Their work has been featured in over forty books as well as numerous magazines and newspapers; on TV and film; and on the radio. You can see examples of their fashion and home designs at PabloSolomon.com and BeverlySolomon.com.
Mollie:
What is the essence of your minimalist design philosophy?
Pablo:
You have so often heard it said that the core of minimalism is the
concept of “less is more”. We would modify that a bit and
say that putting quality over quantity is also minimalism.
Minimalism is also the recognition that simplifying your life and
achieving a harmonious balance between things and experiences,
between your comfort and respecting nature, between activity and
rest, etc. are also goals. Minimalism strives to be a physical
representation of a serene, uncluttered mind that lives in harmony
with nature.
Mollie:
That’s an interesting idea. What does minimalism have in common
with living in harmony with nature?
Pablo:
Beverly is part Native American.
One of her core beliefs that we try to follow is that we are just
passing through this life and should leave the smallest negative
marks behind—that we respect nature by using only what we need and
protecting the rest. Minimalism design not only tries to blend the
architecture into the setting, but to do the least amount of damage
in the process. The concept of your home blending into the setting is
representative of your being part of nature, not at odds with nature.
Mollie:
Can you share a few specific tips for living a successful minimalist
lifestyle?
Pablo:
It really begins with choosing to live in harmony with nature and to
create a setting for yourself that puts you at peace. Keep the things
that you cherish, that bring you happy memories, that make your life
more pleasant. Eliminate those elements that just fill space for the
sake of filling space. Learn to embrace the concept that voids can
give meaning and emphasis to chosen elements. And it is okay to
be as minimal or non-minimal as makes you comfortable.
Mollie:
How do voids help give meaning? Can you give me an example of how you
would use a void in an interior or exterior home design?
Pablo:
The most
simple example would be a wall. Having one valued painting is
emphasized by the blank space around it. Were the wall to have as
many paintings as you can cram on that wall, no one painting would
have much impact.
Mollie:
Any other thoughts?
Pablo: Like so many truths in life, the journey is often more important than the destination. Just considering the mindset of minimalism and taking the first steps in simplifying your life and calming your mind are worth it. Just let go of one thing today. Tomorrow is another day.
