The Spirit Has Goals That the Mind Knows Not Of (My Byron Katie Detox, Part Twenty-Six)

Author Rachel Bersche is a woman after my own heart. She’s a doer. A planner. A fixer. A solver. Someone who doesn’t wait around for results.

Someone who takes charge.

(Someone, also, who writes memoirs about her one-year self-improvement goals, but that’s sort of beside the point.)

All this to say that MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend is my kind of book. The premise is as follows.

After a move to a distant city to be with her boyfriend, Bersche realizes something: she really needs some new friends. So, she hatches a plan uniquely designed for the Generation Y’ers among us: She’d go on fifty-two friend dates—one each week for a year. She’d meet the women online, of course, as well as in the traditional ways—an improv class, book clubs, parties. Her motive wouldn’t be a secret; she’d blog about her experiences and tell many of the women what she was up to. After all, as she argues in her book, if people can admit to looking for a partner, why can’t they admit they want a new best friend?

Cute stuff, right? So practical. So original. And pretty challenging, too. But she did it. She accomplished her goal. And these days, it’s the Rachels of the world I most want to emulate–not the visualizers, manifestors and conference attendees.

Mostly, I just want to work hard.

The law of attraction is a useful concept. The problem is that it’s a bit . . . limited. When Jane died, I didn’t see it coming; it just happened. Life happens. Sometimes we don’t get what we think we want; instead, we get other circumstances that better serve us.

That’s right: we get what we need.

The spirit has goals that the mind knows not of. And I’ve decided I’m okay with that. Hard work is it’s own religion. So is neuropathway rewiring, whether Byron Katie-style or otherwise.

Often, changing our perspective on our circumstances, rather than changing the circumstances themselves, is enough.


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  1. hm, The Law of Attraction limited…? I think that you may be missing something. The only limits I see on LoA is my human limitations in that I do not understand it all and how to use it nor how to fully believe in it which is my biggest failure here. However, all happens for a reason, so this does too.

    1. Think about it this way: what if your HIGHEST self wants something (like suffering) that your temporal, physical self does not? Who’s in charge? Who gets to create the reality? Probably your highest self wins. No?

      1. No, from our civilization’s progress, the higher self doesn’t win. one of our biggest reality problems is that whatever is held as reality deepest in our minds is what continues to be created. You must change that innermost belief (or disbelief) for your LoA to be positively working for you.

  2. Mollie, the law of attraction is very good and it is nice to practice it but we never have control over 100% of everything that happen to us. We do not control other people, we do not control nature, we do not control death.accidents happen, people make mistakes. I totally agree with you that we learn from everything and that everything happens for a reason. and changing our perspective is a great job, takes wisdom to see things in a different way. I love you and I agree with you.

    1. I have really changed my perspective on the law of attraction. It’s there, it’s real, and there’s more to the story.

    2. Have you read Pam Grout’s Book “E-Squared”? I would encourage you to read that and do the exercises – amazing.
      As far as having control over everything – you are right; you don’t. People die, have accidents, do their own thing. The difference is that with LofA all of those things work together for you; the universe brings them together to help you. It’s not just a simple change of perspective; it’s a whole new outlook on life – all things work together for good.
      The world and reality are positive; we just don’t always see it.