This self-help success story was contributed by Jenny Thorne.
There’s a fun spirituality book called Zero Limits by one of the speakers featured in the movie The Secret. It’s by law of attraction writer (and super nice guy–he once called my friend to tell her he liked her book) Joe Vitale. Maybe you’ve heard of it.
The book is autobiographical–more a memoir than a traditional self-help. I love a good memoir, and it’s an entertaining read. But even better, it’s practical; it gives an in-depth explanation of a New Age/New Thought-type process for altering your state of mind and your beliefs (and maybe your reality, too). I’ll get into that in a second, but first, a brief assessment for those of you who already know the book.
Does this spiritual practice work against depression?
Yes. As a technique to deal with depression, Zero Limits can be awesome. I’ve tried it with some decent results. But be warned: the process is very similar to just saying mantras, and personally I’m not convinced these mantras are particularly special.
Have you tried it? For how long?
Yes. Not for long, though. Just a few days.
What were your results?
The first time I read Zero Limits, I was super excited. I wrote about this already, in You’re Getting Closer. That first night, I said the phrase over and over, and as I did so, my mood lifted and my head cleared. I entered into the state of meditation and stayed there.
The next day, however, the effect lessened considerably, even though I continued the practice. I decided that my belief in the technique, rather than the technique itself, had been responsible for my results. Since then, I’ve used the method just a few times, and never with the same commitment.
Personally–and this is just my opinion–I’d be more inclined to use the Zero Limits method on a specific situation or physical need, rather than as a way to heal depression. When I repeat a mantra in order to break out of a bad mood, I often end up more frustrated than when I started.
Is this spiritual practice enjoyable, though? Is it easy?
Yes and yes.
How does it work? What do you do, exactly?
Though there are other aspects to the technique, the main activity is repeating four lovely statements as often as possible–continuously?–throughout the day. They are:
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
I won’t go into the philosophy behind the choice of statements here; for that, you can read the book. (And I recommend that you do.) The basic idea is that the statements have a cleansing power and can help you resolve any undesirable situation–like depression. By using them and visualizing a cleansing action (such as an eraser erasing a chalkboard), you rid the program from your mind that created it or brought it into your experience.
What’s the up-side?
Like I said, it is enjoyable. And it’s easy. And if you stick with it, you’ll likely see results. I happen to prefer other practices, that’s all.
What’s the down-side?
The book claims that the method is a version of an old Hawaiian healing tradition called Ho’pononpono. However, it’s significantly different from that tradition–a spinoff created by a kahuna named Morna. I’m sure Morna is or was inspired and wonderful. But I would’ve preferred she give her method a different name from the original.
The legend of the book and part of what makes it so popular is that Hew Len, the co-author of the book and of the method, emptied a mental ward of patients by using this method–nothing else.
What’s the bottom line here?
My super scientific, soon-to-be-patented depression effectiveness rating for the Zero Limits method: 5 on a scale of 1-10.
Where can I find out more?
You can read my book summaries and takeaways here:
This self-help success story was contributed by Jack Wright.
So, I have a confession to make: I’ve always hated the idea of mindfulness. Here I am, all spiritual and New Agey and stuff, and I’ve never even initiated a conversation about it. Ridiculous, right? Here’s my excuse.
Until very recently, I knew nothing about this spiritual practice. It was just a vague term, and not an especially pleasing one at that. Whereas for some, the idea of mindfulness inspires a sort of beatific glow, for me, it was just another entry on the never-ending to do list of life. Just learning more about it seemed exhausting. Then I actually did learn more–and abruptly changed my perspective.
Right now, as research for this site, I’m reading Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zin for the first time. Now a modern classic, this gives one of the more detailed, systematic (even medical) approaches to mindfulness meditation. It’s based on the successful hospital classes led by Kabat-Zin many years ago, with more recent additions in the revised version I’m reading. I’m also reading several books by Thich Nhat Hanh right now, and listening to an Eckhart Tolle audiobook. I didn’t think of Tolle as a mindfulness meditation teacher, but I’m seeing now that he is (though he might not appreciate the label).
Previously, I viewed mindfulness as a sort of bland, unoriginal approach to spirituality. I mean, it’s just so popular, right? Even non-spiritual people are doing it. After doing the above reading, though, I changed my mind.
Mindfulness, it turns out, isn’t what I thought it was.
I thought mindfulness was: Enjoying life.
Mindfulness is: Being aware of and accepting whatever thoughts come, whether or not they’re thoughts of enjoyment and appreciation.
I thought mindfulness was: Thinking pleasant thoughts about the ordinary things you see around you as you go throughout your day.
Mindfulness is: Feeling your “inner body,” as Tolle calls it–bringing your attention to the energy within you throughout the day.
I thought mindfulness was: Eating more slowly. Listening more carefully.
Mindfulness is: Being who you are. Doing what comes naturally to you when you’re acting from your highest self.
I thought mindfulness was: Not future-thinking. Not past-thinking.
Mindfulness is: Using your mind in the ways that it serves you. That includes some future- and past-thinking.
I thought mindfulness was: Being in a state of deep acceptance of what is.
Mindfulness is: Being in the state of meditation. Even when you’re not totally able to accept what is.
I thought mindfulness was: A politically correct alternative to more advanced ways of meditating.
Mindfulness is: As advanced as I ever need to be.
In other words: Before, mindfulness seemed to me both overly simplistic as well as impossible to achieve. Now, it seems to be exactly what I already do every day: meditating, appreciating, loving. Rinse, repeat.
I still don’t love the word mindfulness for some reason. At this point, the guilt-producing mental associations still sully it. But I do like mindfulness itself.
Here, a self-interview about using this practice for depression.
Does this spiritual practice work against depression?
Yes. For sure. Probably for everyone.
Have you tried it? For how long?
Possibly the main takeaway I got from my recent reading is that I’ve actually been practicing mindfulness meditation for at least four years now. I don’t do many long sitting meditations these days, but my main spiritual practice is to enter into a state of meditation–just a behind-the-scenes sort of sensing of the Divine–in the morning and to hold that place throughout the day. I certainly don’t always succeed in this (read You’re Getting Closer to see what I mean). But when I fail, I return. It’s my most consistent spiritual habit, and as it turns out, it’s nothing special–just what everyone is talking about: mindfulness.
What were your results when using mindfulness for depression?
At times, total transformation of my mood, immediately. Other times, frustration due to just not feeling it.
Is it easy?
For me, yes and no. It does take work, especially for the first several years of practice. It’s a tough habit to create and keep.
How long does the effect last? Does it keep working or does the effect taper off after a few weeks or months?
The mood effect does not taper off at all for me if I practice consistently throughout the day, week or month. And after a break–even a long one–I can pick up right where I left off.
How does it work? What do you do, exactly?
The answer to this question is different for everyone; there are so very many ways to be mindful.
For some, mindfulness is simply noticing what is and thinking thoughts of appreciation. For others, it is noticing unhelpful thoughts and letting them pass, turning their attention to their present surroundings instead. Right now, for me, my main mindfulness practice is to say a mantra many times throughout the day, as follows: I am sensing my inner body. I’m doing what feels deeply right. This reminds me to come back to myself, then check in with my intuition when making any kind of decision. It works wonderfully for me.
I also say, Thank you, God, and There is time for that, too. (This last because of my Type A accomplishment obsession.) And since I’m not so great at just thinking about trees or children’s smiles or whatever, I think thoughts of appreciation about these things. In other words, instead of saying to myself, Here are the trees. They are green and beautiful, I might say something like, I so appreciate these trees. I am so lucky to live here.
Does that make sense? For me, this subtle difference is huge.
Is this practice scientifically backed?
Yes. There are many books on the benefits of meditation in general, but mindfulness meditation is particularly well-researched. It is used outside spiritual circles–in hospitals, therapy practices and much more.
What’s the downside?
None that I can think of, except that it may take years and years of practice for it to feel natural and easy. At least, it did for me. And I definitely still struggle.
Byron Katie does it. Seth Godin does it. And you could probably name several others who do it, too.
They give away at least one of their books for free.
I read Purple Cow by Mr. Godin recently, and it inspired me in so many ways. It changed my perspective on business, on marketing, and even on life. (A little.) One of my main takeaways: Consider carefully if the primary goal of your art is to make money or to … well, do art. I mean, of course you can do both, but how likely is it, really, that you will make a good living with ebooks?
Marketing writing? Yes. Technical writing? Definitely. And I have enjoyed doing both. But right now, it’s all about the art. Or, more accurately, about the communication.
I want more people to actually read my stuff.
So today, a big announcement: I have decided to make all my ebooks available for free. Not 99 cents. Not a penny. Not a newsletter sign-up.
Free.
I’m starting with the first book in my spirituality memoir series, You’re Getting Closer, and following it up with each and every one of my ebooks in the months to come.
I doubt this decision is permanent. But right now, it feels like the right thing to do. And who knows? Maybe I’ll like it enough to keep it this way forever.
Thanks to a hunch and a great title, I purchased Sex, Drugs and Meditation on Amazon–and liked it even more than I expected I would. So I wrote the author, Mary-Lou Stephens, to ask if I could share a true law of attraction success story from the book on this site. She kindly agreed.
Here is the story of how Mary-Lou got started in her long, fulfilling radio career after years of playing in bands. It begins when she runs into an acquaintance, Chris, just after her band broke up.
“I knew Chris, one of the announcers, would be [at the event]. He’d interviewed me about my music a few times and occasionally played my songs on his program. We had formed a friendship.
“He was pleased to see me, even in the circumstances, and suggested we meet up for lunch while I was in town. Later that week we ate and talked about life and death. I poured my heart out about the band breaking up. I told Chris how it had left me devastated and unsure of what to do next. Even though . . . my troubles seemed trivial, it still hurt . . .
“When I finished he paused, looked at me and uttered one life-changing sentence. ‘Mary-Lou, you want to be in radio.’
“I knew he was right. It was a pure light bulb moment. I could feel the glow above my head.
“‘I do.’ It was astounding. ‘But I didn’t know that until right now. How did you know?’
“‘Because I know radio and I know you. It’s a perfect match.’
“It was true. I came alive when I was being interviewed in a radio studio. I loved the sense of performance. I’d performed all my life in one form or another. Radio condensed performance down to one person, one microphone, one listener. A pure connection. I’d almost forgotten that I had presented a show on community radio in Hobart when I was in my early twenties. It was supposed to be an arts show. I interviewed musicians and bands. My natural curiosity was given a legitimate outlet. But when I left Hobart for acting school in Melbourne I never gave radio another thought.
“Until now.
“I stayed in Hobart for a few more days and caught up with a friend. She suggested we check out the short films being shown at the AFTRS graduate screenings. AFTRS was the most prestigious film and TV school in Australia and she was keen to see what the new young filmmakers were doing. During the intermission the dean talked about the school.
“‘The Australian Film, Television and Radio School . . .’ he began. And that’s when I stopped listening. Radio school? It was always called the Film and TV School. I knew people who had studied there. I’d even been to the campus in Sydney, and no one ever mentioned a radio component. Until that night I’d never realised the R in AFTRS stood for radio.
“This was too close to be coincidence, only days after Chris had told me I should be in radio, this was a sign.
. . .
“Within a week of arriving back in Sydney I bumped into Simon. He and I moved in the same circle of musicians and artists.
“‘I’ve been trying to track you down,’ he said. ‘I’m now the program director for a new aspirant public radio station.’
“‘What’s that?’ I heard the word radio. The rest was unfamiliar.
“‘We don’t have a full licence yet but we’re working towards it. At the moment we broadcast in two to four week blocks whenever we’re given a frequency. I was hoping you’d present a show for us. Are you interested?’
‘”‘You want me to do a radio show?’
“‘I think you’d be great. What do you say?’
“Within a week of discovering my true vocation I was being offered a gig on air. Another sign. A miracle! I said yes.”
Mary-Lou Stephens
For more information on this law of attraction author and story, see:
This self-help success story was contributed by Jenny Thorne.
In the very famous book by Robert Cialdini called Influence, he tells a story that has been co-opted many times since, and now, I think I’ll do it again.
Beginning in the year 1961, Yale University conducted a set of frightening psychological experiments on a mix of average people. Bear with me a few moments—this is a little complicated. (But worth it.)
In each iteration of this study, three roles were played: the subject, the button pusher, and the director. The idea was simple: the button pusher would attempt to teach the subject, who was sitting in a different room, a set of word pairs. Then the button pusher would test the subject’s learning ability. When the subject responded incorrectly, the director (wearing a white lab coat) would tell the button pusher (the actual subject of the experiment) to deliver electric shocks of increasing intensity to the subject by—you guessed it—pressing a button.
Of course, the set up was a bit of a sham. No actual electrical current was delivered, but the subject made a convincing show of suffering, anyway.
The results of the study and subsequent studies shocked the researchers and the public alike: 65 percent of the button pushers complied with the researcher’s demands and pushed the torture button until the highest level of pain (an excruciating 450 volts) was delivered repeatedly—despite the fierce cries and protests of the subjects.
When the results of this study were announced to the public, they apparently caused quite a media frenzy. Respected analysts and psychologists made pessimistic observations about the evil inherent in human nature and society. What the journalists apparently did not reveal, however, was this:
The button pushers were in absolute anguish a great deal of the time.
They paced. They protested. They cried—even grown men cried. They begged not to be required to go on.
They didn’t want to do it at all.
In Influence and other analyses of this fascinating study, a clear conclusion is drawn: People in general put a great undue trust in authority. We listen to our leaders—or the people we perceive to be our leaders—and do almost anything they ask, whatever the consequences may be.
And I agree with this idea. In fact, I could not possibly agree more. However, there is a second conclusion to be made, and personally, I think it’s even more important than the first: People are almost totally unaware that the source of their greatest anguish is not other people.
It is themselves.
At any point in time during this experiment, any of the button pushers could have ended the torture of both the subject and themselves by doing one simple thing.
They could’ve stopped pushing the button.
Here’s the thing: We are powerful. Our minds–our beliefs–are the source of our greatest pain, as well as our only true joy. And yet, as many times as we New Agey-types say this, repeat this, remind ourselves of this, we often seem to forget it.
When I first came across Byron Katie’s website, there was a prominently displayed quote that went something like this: “The Work has one purpose: To end suffering.”
And I thought, Yeah, right, you guys. Everything I need to end suffering is right here, on this website.
A reasonable reaction, maybe. But that was long before I ever put The Work to the test.
What is The Work?
For those of you who are not familiar with The Work, here is a brief description from thework.com: “The Work is a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches you to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. It’s a way to understand what’s hurting you, and to address the cause of your problems with clarity. In its most basic form, The Work consists of four questions and the turnarounds.”
The questions are:
Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
Pretty simple, right? And yet, The Work is one of the most powerful spiritual techniques I’ve ever tried. It combines well-known cognitive psychology principles (CBT is similar, and similarly amazing), neuroscience (brain rewiring theory, and all that), and–you guessed it–spirituality to address anything and everything that ails you.
And it delivers.
Can you be more specific?
Here are some of the negative thoughts I’ve freed (or partially freed) myself from through this method, just during the first two months of practicing it:
I’m not thin enough.
I’m not accomplishing enough.
I’m annoyed by [insert person’s name].
I’m angry at [insert person’s name].
I want to work more.
I don’t want to breastfeed anymore.
Another thought that I’m not totally rid of yet, but that I’ve already made inroads against: “I am depressed.”
Really? That doesn’t seem possible.
It’s true.
What do you mean, you’ve freed yourself from these thoughts?
I mean that when they come, they don’t feel as strong to me anymore. They are there, then I recall The Work that I did on the thought and how I turned it around, and it sort of makes its way through me to somewhere else. They’re not quite real anymore. I don’t take them so seriously.
And for depression, a condition that may be physically-based? Does it work for this, too?
Absolutely. I can honestly say that before The Work and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is very similar but not quite as powerful as The Work, I was never entirely convinced I could one day be completely free from depression. Now, I am.
But it will take time. This is not an overnight miracle cure. It takes, as the name suggests, work. Depression has made such deep inroads–superhighways, really–in my mind. All that needs to be slowly undone.
If it’s this amazing, why doesn’t everyone know about it?
People find The Work when the time is right. Also, Byron Katie’s ideas are pretty darn controversial. In her world, the problem is never the other person; it’s always you. “No exceptions.” Change your perspective, and you won’t suffer anymore, she says–no matter what anyone else does to you. A lot of people are stuck in victimhood.
Anything else we should know?
I cannot do The Work justice in this blog post. Rather than attempt the impossible, then, I direct you to one of my favorite Byron Katie YouTube videos ever (and that’s saying a lot, since I’ve been binge-watching them every chance I get). In it, Katie helps a distraught woman plagued with guilt over a relationship mistake see the truth of the situation.
This self-help success story was contributed by Jack Wright.
For several months, I had a mantra. A long one, one that I made up that said everything I wanted to remember each day. Since I haven’t had a whole lot of luck with many other types of meditation (I’ve pretty much always used mantras as a focal point during sitting practice rather than focusing on the breath or just clearing my mind), I figured I might as well make it a good, complete one. Each stanza is, for me, a consolidation of a great spiritual principle that upon contemplation can allow us to feel the feeling of feeling good (my definition of the state of meditation).
Here is the mantra that I used:
Angels, guides, God and all there is,
1. Please. Please. Help. Help.
2. Notice. Notice. Accept. Accept.
3. Surrender. Surrender. Flow. Flow.
4. Love. Love. Give. Give.
5. Body. Body. Energy. Energy.
6. Thank you. Thank you. Life. Life.
I love this mantra. I love mantras in general, actually. And yet, I don’t use this one anymore. In fact, for the past year or so, I’ve used mantras only sporadically. Why is this? The reason is simple: other spiritual practices took precedent.
I just don’t have time for them all.
Here, a self-interview about using this practice for depression.
So do you recommend mantra meditation for depression, or not?
Absolutely. I have a strong feeling that I will circle back to it–maybe even to using it daily–after my Byron Katie obsession is no longer in the critical learning period.
And mantras in general? Do they help, too? Or is it best to combine them with meditation?
Mantras are just mantras. Unless they’re used in a certain way, in a meditative frame of mind, they’re just not all that effective.
I remember a time several years back when I thought I wanted to buy a particular house. So one day I said this mantra over and over for, like, a solid hour while doing yoga: “This is my house.” And I didn’t feel at peace about it at all–and I did not end up buying that house (thank God).
So what was the difference?
First, the mantra should be something that feels deeply right to you. Something that really increases your peace. And second, the mantra should be something you use as a means to an end–achieving a state of meditation–not as an end in itself.
So does that mean you shouldn’t use mantras while doing the laundry or at work?
Not at all. Sit-down meditation is awesome, but you can meditate anytime. I call this “walking meditation.”
How effective is mantra meditation for depression, really?
The thing about being depressed is that it’s really, really hard to boost yourself up out of it using the usual methods. I can remember so many times that I tried to force myself out of a bad mood using some kind of sitting or walking meditation, usually with a mantra, and just ended up more pissed off and frustrated. Maybe I’m just really bad at it (actually, I’m pretty sure this is the case). But I have a feeling I’m not the only one with this problem.
Sometimes it works really well. Other times, it’s just not enough. Personally, I’ve found that meditation is best when I’m already feeling either emotionally neutral (it then kicks me into a bit of a high) or already positive (it then kicks me into an awesome high). When I’m actually depressed, I need something … stronger.
This self-help success story was contributed by Jack Wright.
Is positive thinking effective for increasing wellness and inner peace? I mean, really. It’s so corny. So Pollyanna. And yet, we spiritual people swear by it. Non-spiritual people, too. We give it credit for so many of our life achievements.
What gives?
I love this question. Really, really love it, partly because the answer isn’t straightforward. So the other week when I ran across an interview with Eckhart Tolle and Dr. Wayne Dyer in which it was asked, my ears perked up.
Strangely, positivity is a very polarizing subject. You have the extreme believers and the extreme haters. The believers think it’s the reason for everything good that ever happens (I’m looking at you, Rhonda Byrne). The haters view these people as not only misled, but downright ridiculous. Barbara Ehrenreich, for example, has become well known for books like Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. Not the book idea I’d want to commit to for several years of my working life.
But there are a few less skeptical, more balanced approaches to the anti-positivity argument as well. And I was pleased that in the Dyer-Tolle interview, both shared interesting, balanced perspectives. They agreed that if a person really wants to achieve greater inner peace, positivity isn’t the goal, or even necessarily a great starting point. Instead, they say, work on being true to yourself, being honest–even if there’s some difficult emotions that come up.
Then Dyer mentioned Anita Moorjani, who wrote a book (Dying to Be Me) about her near death experience and what she learned from it. In it, she says that it’s not about positive thinking. It’s not about manufacturing good feelings where there are none. It’s not about mantras, and the law of attraction, and The Secret, and Norman Vincent Peale.
Positive thinking is a mere substitute for the real thing. Real enlightenment. Real joy. Real love.
It’ll only get you part of the way.
Pema Chodron would likely agree. Her (awesome) books are full of insights about the importance of honesty and authenticity–even suffering. She has a ton–really, just a ton–of amazing quotes on this topic. Here’s one, from When Things Fall Apart: “To stay with that shakiness—to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge—that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic—this is the spiritual path.”
So, okay. Maybe positive thinking isn’t all it’s touted to be. But, well–what is, right? Any idea that has entered the popular consciousness with as much force and repetition (not to mention anecdotal and even scientific evidence, a la the placebo effect) suffers from oversimplification syndrome. Maybe positivity isn’t the cure-all, or even one of the truly great spiritual practices out there. That doesn’t mean I’m giving it up anytime soon.
Briefly, here’s my take: I’ve experienced chronic dysthemia (low-level depression) for most of my life. Spirituality and prayer have always been a source of help for me, as have many other practices. But the very first true breakthrough I ever experienced regarding my depression resulted from reading a book on changing one’s thoughts. It was called Telling Yourself the Truth: Find Your Way Out of Depression, Anxiety, Fear, Anger, and Other Common Problems by Applying the Principles of Misbelief Therapy, and I still recommend it to this day (though there are other, similar books on the subject I prefer now). The basic message: your negative thoughts are responsible for your negative feelings. To change the feeling, change the thought. Oh, and by the way, those negative thoughts aren’t true, anyway–not nearly as true as the more objective–and yes, more positive–alternative perspectives.
The message was simple, and in some ways quite obvious, and yet, as a Christian who had always relied on prayer alone for healing, it was radical to me. When I began “taking my thoughts captive,” as the Bible teaches, I was finally able to cap off some of the depression.
These days, I use positive thinking as a tool every day of my life, both in a knee-jerk sort of way and as a dedicated journaling practice. Don’t get me wrong–I’d love to be more like Eckhart Tolle, who is able to “just be.” And Moorjani, who tells us that rather than try to drum up better-feeling thoughts, we should simply live a life that celebrates who we really, authentically are–whatever that may be.
Oh, the infamous law of attraction. We’ve all heard about it, and have potentially practiced it. There are some people who believe in the law strongly, while there are others that think it’s absolutely ridiculous.
I’ve had amazing experiences practicing positive thinking with the intent of manifesting my goals, but sometimes the greatest beauty comes in the little gifts that we receive from the Universe. Life is made up of moments, not extraordinary events, and the sycronicity that I notice in my day-to-day life is, honestly, what keeps me consistently in awe. Reading about elephants as a commercial comes on about elephants, receiving a call from a friend I was just about to reach out to, sitting next to someone on a flight who’s just as into quantum psychics as I am–these are not coincidences, these events are the law of attraction bringing the frequencies that I emit back into my physical existence. As I’ve become more spiritual, and have ultimately developed more of a direct connection to Source, I’ve seen more and more of this happening. My divine journey IS the destination, and tuning into my higher self allows for my third eye to notice even the most quaint of destined circumstances. I know that it is the grand manifestations, though, that are more sexy–and I’ve had my fair share of those as well.
Three months prior to my 21st birthday, I made the decision to move to Colorado to embark on the biggest adventure of my young life. I didn’t have any friends there, any family, a job, a place to live; heck, I’d never even visited the place before. But what I did have was a strong determination and unwavering faith that I was following my heart, my intuition, and the spiritual place where my guides speak to me. I knew it HAD to work out.
So, a month prior to leaving I flew out with my mother to find a place to live. I had my list of apartments with a perfectly calculated route to optimize our time there. Three days flew by, and . . . nothing. I felt discouraged as we began to accept the fact that our trip was failure.
Then, on our way back to our hotel, we passed a leasing company. I toured a beautiful apartment in Denver’s affluent Wash Park area that just so happened to be right in my price range. I was approved without a job, and made the big move a weekend after I turned 21. I then found an amazing job within two weeks of my move, and have had the opportunity to work with many inspiring start-up companies. My plan was live there for a year, but it took four years for my adventure to come to a completion in the beautiful state of Colorado. I would not be the person I am today without having made that move.
Six months after moving back to the state of Texas, I decided to take another leap of faith and quit my corporate job to launch my own marketing start-up company, The Auzenne Agency, which has allowed me the freedom to live my life according to my own terms. It has allowed for more time with family, the means to travel when I please, and to also truly make a true impact on other start-up companies.
Thinking positive thoughts emits positive energy which brings about the intuitive guidance for inspired action to achieve all that your heart desires.
This self-help success story was contributed by Jenny Thorne.
In the world of alternative spirituality, it’s become a bit of a cliche: Everything we see, everything we experience, is merely ourselves, reflected back at us. We are here to discover who we really are, say our Buddhist teachers (like the great Pema Chodron) and our channels (like Esther Hicks, Jane Roberts and many others). This is supposed to make us feel better when things go wrong, I suppose; it’s not really happening, right?
But that isn’t the only reason we appreciate this teaching. We also like it because it gives us a sense of control. In his awesome pop psychology bestseller, What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite, David DiSalvo tells us about the human mind’s neurotic need for certainty and understanding–even in the face of very few facts.
Knowing what’s really going on at all times–with ourselves and everyone around us–is a major driving force of our actions and thoughts, he writes. There is a distinct physical and chemical pleasure response from coming up with a reason or explanation–no matter how accurate that explanation may be.
Enter all kinds of false conclusions. We even assign meaning to pure coincidence, making causal inferences from scant information.
So in a sense, believing the world is a projection of our own minds is a pretty attractive scenario. If I can change my mind, I can change my life, we conclude. Who doesn’t want that kind of power?
However, there’s a flip side to this perceived super power, a quandary to consider: What about when something goes wrong? Who do we blame when someone is truly mean, truly heinous, truly inconsiderate, truly . . . well, wrong?
Hmmmm . . . . That’s a hard one, isn’t it?
Clearly, your partner was not being nice when he told you he’d rather spend a night out with the guys than with you. Obviously, your mother should never suggest you go on a diet, and your sister is unfair to expect you to babysit her kids every week.
I mean, let’s face it: It’s one thing to believe in theory that everything that happens is a just projection of ourselves. It’s another thing entirely to act like we believe it, to truly believe that we’re the only ones responsible for our reality.
Some spiritual-but-not-religious folks have a code word for what happens when things go wrong. They call it “co-creation.” They think that even enlightened people experience bad stuff on occasion (in other words, even Esther Hicks gets sick). This is because, well, we’re not really the only ones out here on this plane of reality. And some, but not all, of the out-there stuff affects us.
We’re all in this thing together.
Another explanation, which I like even better, comes from a lesser-known but equally awesome teacher named Matt Kahn. (Get a free long excerpt of his book, Whatever Arises, Love That, here.) Kahn says that when bad stuff happens, it’s not because you didn’t create or visualize right; it’s because there’s some serious work going on inside you. The idea is similar to the Buddhist idea of working out one’s karma. (See Kahn’s video, “The Karmic Return,” for more.)
For quite a while, I accepted these explanations, and in fact I still do–partly. I do believe (for now, anyway) that there really are other people out there, and that those other people are actually doing things. If reality is a projection, I think it’s a collective one.
However, there’s another layer to this idea that I only recently truly discovered. And the teacher that led me to it was Byron Katie.
Here is Katie’s take on the topic in a nutshell. She says that it’s not that so-called “bad” stuff never happens to enlightened or “advanced” people. (She probably gets her disproportionate share of hate mail, for example, due to her nobody-is-a-victim philosophy.) But when you know that a comment just isn’t true, that comment doesn’t feel truly mean to you anymore. Instead, it just feels like pain. It feels like an angry child is speaking to you, someone who doesn’t understand you–someone who’s hurt and afraid.
Recently, I started using Byron Katie’s method of questioning my negative beliefs, and it has really changed things for me. I didn’t realize how negative I was until I started writing down the automatic thoughts in my mind. From the first time I did The Work (Byron Katie’s name for her process, which is similar to cognitive behavioral therapy), I was able to step back significantly from my experiences and realize that what happens to me isn’t really what’s happening to me. What’s happening to me is what’s happening in my own mind.
Needless to say, this was an incredibly freeing revelation.
On a cold Friday the 13th in January over a decade ago, I signed the mortgage agreement for my first home. And I wasn’t scared about it at all. Though I wasn’t exactly rich–I’d decided that waiting tables was my true calling, at least for a while–I believed that by saving every dollar I could and paying at least a little ahead on the mortgage each month, I just might be able to pay off the house in ten years. With that goal in mind, I took in renters and saved every dollar I could. I didn’t drive a car, for instance. And sometimes I even passed up the bus, deciding it wasn’t worth that $1 fee.
Five years later, I was nowhere close to my goal, but I didn’t worry about that–I just kept making payments. Something in me told me that it would all work out as it should.
I married my first husband, and worked as much as I could, using most of my earnings for the house. Then I divorced and married my husband, which gave me another big edge. Still, the goal was pretty far away. Then the year before having my second child, I got a great job, and started paying in big chunks. Finally, the day came when my husband gave me the approval to take the twenty grand out of our savings account and pay our very last installment.
In the February nine years after signing the mortgage, I made the final payment on the house–nearly one year ahead of schedule.
I believe in hard work. And planning, and being careful with money. But I also believe in the power of setting an clearly defined intention.
Lately I’ve been noticing that the term “spiritual enlightenment” has lost some of its exclusivity. People–friends of mine, and a few authors I’ve read–define it in a multitude of ways: peace. Calm. Positivity. Joy: smiling joy, constant joy, childlike, carefree joy.
Right now, I like this definition: happiness.
Isn’t that the best definition of spiritual enlightenment there is? It’s not knowing God; as I am part of God, I already know her. It’s not something you do; doing is not ultimately important in this life. It’s not having the ability to meditate for hours on end, though clarity of thought is a very wonderful thing.
It’s just happiness.
Happiness is the truth of life, and happiness is enlightenment.
And when you put it that way, suddenly enlightenment feels much more attainable; I know I can get it because, after all, I’ve gotten it before—a little.
Even recently I’ve gotten it. As I have tried to discipline myself to think positively on a continual basis, especially regarding my body, I have felt the happiness that I desire to feel all the time to some (heretofore small) degree.
Still reading Conversations With God, Part Three, and still loving it. Today read a passage in which the God character discusses people who’ve had near-death experiences. He says that even though these experiences are incredibly powerful and life-changing (like the spiritual awakenings that many of the rest of us have had, only much more extreme), after a time the person usually forgets what they’ve learned.
“Is there a way to keep remembering?” Walsch’s character asks God.
God replies that there is. He says that we must remember that the world we see around us is really an illusion, and that instead of acting based on what we see and experience here and now we must act according to what we know is really true, in the world beyond this temporary physical place. Because in the world of the spirit, everything is perfect, everything is beautiful, everything is right, and there is no sin, and no pain, and no fear and no struggle, nor will there ever be.
And that is of course my true goal in life, my challenge—the challenge not just of losing weight, but of achieving enlightenment, and of finally being truly, deeply happy. Not just fulfilled—not just pretty happy.
But really, really, truly, smiling, singing, spreading-it-around, happy.
I have never experienced this feeling on a continual basis, but I have gotten glimpses of it—recently quite a few, actually. I’ve known what it’s like to be able to hold on to my understanding that it is all much bigger than this visible world, with its longing, its pain, its perceived desire—even one as huge and consuming as the desire to be thin—and that it is all truly well with my soul, and with the world, and it always would really be.
Okay, so these aren’t the expected choices. They’re not all classics or best sellers, or even the most substantial, information-heavy works. But I stand by my selections in this list. They’re the alternative spirituality books I liked the most. The most inspiring, the most fun to read–and the ones that helped me the most, too.
So there.
Best of the Best: My Favorite Alternative Spirituality Books of All
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Eckhart Tolle A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell I Need Your Love – Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them, Byron Katie and Michael Katz Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie, Byron Katie Conversations with God, Parts One through Three, Neale Donald Walsch Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe, Robert Lanza and Bob Berman 100 Daily Messages Volumes One through Four, Leta Hamilton and Archangel Michael Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires, Esther Hicks, Jerry Hicks and Abraham Molecules of Emotion: Why You Feel the Way You Feel, Candace Pert Dying to Be Me, Anita Moorjani Autobiography of a Yogi, Paramahansa Yogananda The Search For Grace: A Documented Case of Murder and Reincarnation, Bruce Goldberg Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More, Joe Vitale Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives, Brian Weiss Ten Percent Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works–A True Story, Dan Harris The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation, Thich Nhat Hanh Whatever Arises, Love That, Matt Kahn Fringe-ology: How I Tried to Explain Away the Unexplainable–and Couldn’t, Steve Volk A Field Guide to Lucid Dreaming, Dylan Tuccillo, Jared Zeizel and Thomas Peisel The Shack, William Young A Severe Mercy, Sheldon Vanauken The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence
Every day, science is merging with spirituality in new and fascinating ways. The fields of physics, neuroscience, positive psychology and many more are offering us some of the most coffee shop conversation-worthy stories out there.
When you’re in the mood to expand your scientific knowledge (to impress a date, maybe?); to learn more about various super practical, scientifically researched spiritual practices; or simply to become a smarter, more well-rounded person, flip through one or more of these awesome works. There’s so much nerdy fun in their pages. And remember: the more heavy stuff you read, the lighter the next heavy stuff gets. Kinda funny how that works, but it does.
I chose the books in the first section because they inspired me deeply, changed me for the better and helped me find greater inner peace. The second section features many of the other scientific spiritual books that come with a halfway decent recommendation of some kind, either from a friend or online.
If you come across another book that deserves to be here, do let me know.
Best Scientific Spiritual Books
Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe, Robert Lanza and Bob Berman The User Illusion: Cutting Consciousness Down to Size, Tor Nørretranders Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self, Robert Waggoner A Field Guide to Lucid Dreaming,Dylan Tuccillo, Jared Zeizel and Thomas Peisel Lucid Dreaming: A Concise Guide to Awakening in Your Dreams and in Your Life, Stephen LaBerge Fringe-ology: How I Tried to Explain Away the Unexplainable–and Couldn’t, Steve Volk How God Changes Your Brain: Breakthrough Findings From a Leading Neuroscientist, Andrew B. Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Joe Dispenza Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d, Candace Pert Molecules of Emotion: Why You Feel the Way You Feel, Candace Pert
Other Recommended Scientific Spiritual Books
You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, Joe Dispenza Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind, Joe Dispenza The Honeymoon Effect: The Science of Creating Heaven on Earth, Bruce Lipton The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles, Bruce Lipton The Wisdom of Your Cells: How Your Beliefs Control Your Biology, Bruce Lipton Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future and a Way to Get There from Here, Bruce Lipton and Steve Bhaerman The Spiritual Brain: Science and Religious Experience, Andrew Newberg Why God Won’t Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief, Andrew B. Newberg Why We Believe What We Believe: Our Biological Need for Meaning, Spirituality, and Truth, Andrew B. Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman Words Can Change Your Brain: 12 Conversation Strategies to Build Trust, Resolve Conflict, and Increase Intimacy, Andrew B. Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman The Mystical Mind: Probing the Biology of Religious Experience, Andrew B. Newberg and Eugene G.d’Aquili The Immortal Mind: Science and the Continuity of Consciousness Beyond the Brain, Ervin Laszlo and Anthony Peake Return to the Brain of Eden: Restoring the Connection between Neurochemistry and Consciousness, Tony Wright and Graham Gynn The Quantum Doctor: A Quantum Physicist Explains the Healing Power of Integrative Medicine, Amit Goswami Secrets of Your Cells: Discovering Your Body’s Inner Intelligence, Sondra Barret The Physics of Angels: Exploring the Realm Where Science and Spirit Meet, Rupert Sheldrake and Matthew Fox Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself, Lissa Rankin M.D. One Mind: How Our Individual Mind Is Part of a Greater Consciousness and Why It Matters, Larry Dossey The Turning Point: Creating Resilience in a Time of Extremes, Gregg Braden The God Code: The Secret of our Past, the Promise of our Future, Gregg Braden The Spontaneous Healing of Belief: Shattering the Paradigm of False Limits, Gregg Braden The Divine Matrix: Bridging Time, Space, Miracles, and Belief, Gregg Braden How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body, David R. Hamilton
Generally speaking, reading about meditation is much less helpful than just practicing meditation. Maybe that’s why I haven’t read as many books on this spirituality subcategory as I would like to have done.
Yeah. That must be the reason.
In any case. We all need at least a few on our spirituality bookshelf; after all, meditation is a requirement for life these days. Or at least a requirement for “being spiritual.”
And hey–there is good reason for that. First, meditation actually is as awesome as they say it is. Second, and more important: mediation isn’t just one thing. For me and many other alternative spirituality types, meditation is, well, pretty much whatever we say it is. You could walk a dog and call it a dog walking meditation; I do.
Best Meditation Books
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Eckhart Tolle A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle Practicing the Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle Meditation Without Gurus, Clark Strand When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chodron The Wisdom of No Escape And the Path of Loving-Kindness, Pema Chodron Ten Percent Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works–A True Story, Dan Harris The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation, Thich Nhat Hanh Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life, Thich Nhat Hanh Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness, Jon Kabat-Zinn Meditation: How to Reduce Stress, Get Healthy, and Find Your Happiness in Just 15 Minutes a Day, Rachel Rofe
Other Recommended Meditation Books
Pema Chodron
Always Maintain a Joyful Mind And Other Lojong Teachings on Awakening Compassion and Fearlessness, Pema Chodron Awakening Loving-Kindness, Pema Chodron Comfortable With Uncertainty: 108 Teachings, Pema Chodron Don’t Bite the Hook: Finding Freedom From Anger and Other Destructive Emotions, Pema Chodron Hooked! Buddhist Writings on Greed, Desire, and the Urge to Consume, Pema Chodron Living Beautifully With Uncertainty and Change, Pema Chodron No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva, Pema Chodron Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living, Pema Chodron Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves From Old Habits and Fears, Pema Chodron The Places That Scare You: A Guide To Fearlessness, Pema Chodron The Pocket Pema Chodron, Pema Chodron This Moment is the Perfect Teacher: 10 Buddhist Teachings on Cultivating Inner Strength and Compassion, Pema Chodron Tonglen: The Path of Transformation, Pema Chodron Awakening Compassion: Meditation Practice for Difficult Times, Pema Chodron Awakening Love: Teachings and Practices to Cultivate a Limitless Heart, Pema Chodron Bodhisattva Mind: Teachings to Cultivate Courage and Awareness in the Midst of Suffering, Pema Chodron Coming Closer to Ourselves: Making Everything the Path of Awakening, Pema Chodron Fully Alive: A Retreat with Pema Chödrön on Living Beautifully With Uncertainty and Change, Pema Chodron From Fear to Fearlessness: Teachings on the Four Great Catalysts of Awakening, Pema Chodron Getting Unstuck: Breaking Your Habitual Patterns and Encountering Naked Reality, Pema Chodron Giving Our Best: A Retreat With Pema Chödrön on Practicing the Way of the Bodhisattva, Pema Chodron Good Medicine: How to Turn Pain Into Compassion With Tonglen Meditation, Pema Chodron How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends With Your Mind, Pema Chodron In Conversation: On the Meaning of Suffering and the Mystery of Joy, Pema Chodron Karma: Finding Freedom in This Moment, Pema Chodron Natural Awareness: Guided Meditations and Teachings for Welcoming All Experience, Pema Chodron No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva, Pema Chodron Noble Heart: A Self-Guided Retreat on Befriending Your Obstacles, Pema Chodron Practicing Peace in Times of War, Pema Chodron Pure Meditation: The Tibetan Buddhist Practice Of Inner Peace, Pema Chodron Smile at Fear: A Retreat with Pema Chödrön on Discovering Your Radiant Self-Confidence, Pema Chodron The Pema Chödrön Collection, Pema Chodron The Three Commitments: Walking the Path of Liberation, Pema Chodron The Truth of Our Existence: Four Teachings from the Buddha to Illuminate Your Life, Pema Chodron True Happiness, Pema Chodron Unconditional Confidence For Meeting Any Experience With Trust and Courage, Pema Chodron Walking the Walk: Putting the Teachings Into Practice When it Matters Most, Pema Chodron When Pain is the Doorway: Awakening in the Most Difficult Circumstances, Pema Chodron
Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Power of Meditation and Prayer, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Sogyal Rinpoche, Larry Dossey, and Michael Toms Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life, Jon Kabat-Zinn Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, Jon Kabat-Zinn and Myla Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life, Jon Kabat-Zinn Coming to Our Senses: Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness, Jon Kabat-Zinn The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness, J. Mark G. Williams, John D. Teasdale, Zindel V. Segal and Jon Kabat-Zinn Arriving at Your Own Door, Jon Kabat-Zinn Living Buddha, Living Christ, Thich Nhat Hanh Letting Everything Become Your Teacher: 100 Lessons in Mindfulness, Jon Kabat-Zinn The Mind’s Own Physician: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama on the Healing Power of Meditation, Jon Kabat-Zinn and Richard Davidson
Sharon Salzberg
Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness, Sharon Salzberg Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation: A 28-Day Program, Sharon Salzberg Heart as Wide as the World, Sharon Salzberg Voices of Insight, Sharon Salzberg Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience, Sharon Salzberg The Force of Kindness: Change Your Life with Love and Compassion, Sharon Salzberg The Kindness Handbook: A Practical Companion, Sharon Salzberg Real Happiness at Work: Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement, and Peace, Sharon Salzberg Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier, Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman
Joseph Goldstein
Seeking the Heart of Wisdom: The Path of Insight Meditation, Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield The Experience of Insight: A Simple and Direct Guide to Buddhist Meditation, Joseph Goldstein Insight Meditation: The Practice of Freedom, Joseph Goldstein The Path of Insight Meditation, Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield Insight Meditation: A Step-By-Step Course on How to Meditate, Joseph Goldstein, with Sharon Salzberg One Dharma: The Emerging Western Buddhism, Joseph Goldstein A Heart Full of Peace, Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening, Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield
Thich Nhat Hanh
Vietnam: Lotus in a Sea of Fire, Thich Nhat Hanh Being Peace, Thich Nhat Hanh The Sun My Heart, Thich Nhat Hanh Our Appointment with Life: Sutra on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone, Thich Nhat Hanh Old Path White Clouds: Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha, Thich Nhat Hanh The Diamond That Cuts Through Illusion, Commentaries on the Prajnaparamita Diamond Sutra, Thich Nhat Hanh ‘Hermitage Among the Clouds’, Thich Nhat Hanh Zen Keys: A Guide to Zen Practice, Thich Nhat Hanh Cultivating The Mind Of Love, Thich Nhat Hanh The Heart Of Understanding, Thich Nhat Hanh Transformation and Healing: Sutra on the Four Establishments of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart, Thich Nhat Hanh Fragrant Palm Leaves: Journals, 1962-1966, Thich Nhat Hanh Going Home: Jesus and Buddha as Brothers, Thich Nhat Hanh The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching, Thich Nhat Hanh The Raft Is Not the Shore: Conversations Toward a Buddhist/Christian Awareness, Thich Nhat Hanh and Daniel Berrigan The Path of Emancipation: Talks from a 21-Day Mindfulness Retreat, Thich Nhat Hanh A Pebble in Your Pocket, Thich Nhat Hanh Essential Writings, Thich Nhat Hanh Anger, Thich Nhat Hanh Be Free Where You Are, Thich Nhat Hanh No Death, No Fear, Thich Nhat Hanh Touching the Earth: Intimate Conversations with the Buddha, Thich Nhat Hanh Teachings on Love, Thich Nhat Hanh Understanding Our Mind, Thich Nhat Hanh Buddha Mind, Buddha Body: Walking Toward Enlightenment, Thich Nhat Hanh The Art of Power, Thich Nhat Hanh Under the Banyan Tree, Thich Nhat Hanh Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life, Thich Nhat Hanh Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child, Thich Nhat Hanh You Are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment, Thich Nhat Hanh The Novice: A Story of True Love, Thich Nhat Hanh Your True Home: The Everyday Wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh, Thich Nhat Hanh Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm, Thich Nhat Hanh The Pocket, Thich Nhat Hanh The Art of Communicating, Thich Nhat Hanh Blooming of a Lotus, Thich Nhat Hanh No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering, Thich Nhat Hanh Is Nothing Something?, Thich Nhat Hanh Mindful Movements, Thich Nhat Hanh
Clark Strand
Waking up to the Dark: Ancient Wisdom for a Sleepless Age, Clark Strand Waking the Buddha: How the Most Dynamic and Empowering Buddhist Movement in History Is Changing Our Concept of Religion, Clark Strand How to Believe in God: Whether You Believe in Religion or Not, Clark Strand The Wooden Bowl: Simple Meditations for Everyday Life, Clark Strand Seeds from a Birch Tree: Writing Haiku and the Spiritual Journey, Clark Strand
Other Authors
Oneness With All Life, Eckhart Tolle Guardians of Being, Eckhart Tolle Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity, David Lynch Zen Meditation in Plain English, John Daishin Buksbazen Buddhism Without Beliefs: A Contemporary Guide to Awakening, Stephen Batchelor The Zen Way, Myokyo-ni How to Be a Yogi, Swami Abhedananda The Way of Zen, Alan Watts Love, Freedom, Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships, Osho Awakening the Buddha Within: Tibetan Wisdom for the Western World, Surya Das
Reading the wonderful Matt Kahn’s book, Whatever Arises, Love That. (Great title, eh?) So, the main message is to send love to whatever comes up in your experience, which is what Eckhart Tolle, my friend Leta Hamilton, and many others agree is one of the most useful spiritual practices you can do.
And man, I super suck at it.
I don’t love a lot of things. A whole lot of things. My ego is just always–right–there. I can’t let go of my opinion long enough to love what is, even though I know that doing so is the core definition of humility.
I really don’t know how to be humble. But I’m working on it.
Ever since getting into this New Thought/New Age spirituality thing, I’ve been confused about something: If God isn’t God as I once thought him to be, but instead the substance of all that is and ever will be, who should I be praying to? I’ve been praying to God, since presumably the message still gets through. But it doesn’t feel quite right. Well, earlier this week, I remembered some advice from Kryon to talk out loud to the many angels and guides that surround us constantly … and so, that is what I did. I imagined a group of real beings with individuality and personality listening to me and going to work on my behalf (since, again, presumably that’s what they do). Beings who know me, like me, and are like me–not some ethereal love-fluff in the air.
About ten years ago, I gathered a bunch of law of attraction success stories from my readers and created this series. At the time, I was reading all the spirituality books I could get my hands on, and noticing a lot of interesting changes for the better in my own life. I wanted to keep the positive stuff coming.
Since my law of attraction phase, my perspective on the concept has shifted a bit. I don’t know how much God or the universe or quantum mechanics has to do with our tendency to manifest what we visualize. These days, it seems to me that the law of attraction works because of the power of our minds. We know what we’re capable of, and what opportunities might come our way. Then we imagine the best of those things and seek out ways to bring them to us.
Sure, it sometimes seems like magic, or God, or the larger intentions of the universe–and maybe sometimes it is. But I tend to believe we create our own magic by getting in touch with our intuition, which is based on innumerable observations and experiences and contains more data than any supercomputer ever built.
Or maybe it’s just subatomic particles. Who knows?
At a playdate the other week, one of my sons hit another kid. The playdate wasn’t with just one other family; a whole big group of us was there.
Sometimes, when something like this happens, I have a moment of, “Okay. How do I handle this situation calmly but effectively, in a way that makes me look like a good mom?” I didn’t know the others well, so this response may have been even more likely–normally.
That day, though, wasn’t a normal day. That day I was “in the zone.”
In You’re Getting Closer, I discuss this phenomenon–this state of continuous meditation, during which everything you do feels inspired. That morning, I decided this would be one of those days; I’d listen for guidance on what to do–even the little stuff.
And so, when I saw what happened, I knew without hesitation what to do. I talked to my son, and gave him the choice to either apologize or to leave the playdate.
Then, we left the playdate.
It’s so, so nice to have that feeling of clarity, of knowing exactly what to do and how. I don’t have it nearly often enough.
A while back, I resolved to learn how to accept what is, give up compulsiveness, in order to become more, you know, Buddhist monk-like. The only part of this resolution that stuck, however, was cleaning my house less often.
